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I need advice.

Im 15 years old, and 26 weeks with my first child. Of course i still live with my parents, but my dad is a drunk, i do not want my son to grow up around that, but i know he wont stop drinking for anyone. And i would go live with the babys father, but his dad is also a drunk, and there is constantly people yelling and fighting, i really dont know what to do because we are to young to get jobs, and get our own place. :/

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Mason_david95

Asked by Mason_david95 at 8:52 PM on Jun. 5, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 7 (156 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Hi Sweetie, I am sorry to hear about your father. I am going to ask some questions that may or may not be lame. Only answer what you feel comfortable with. Is your father a mean drunk? Are things at home calm and nice or are they mean and crazy all the time. Would your mother consider sending him to get help? I would hope that you could stay with your mother while raising your baby. If not, is there a grandparent or aunt or uncle who could help you with your baby?
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 8:57 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Sorry, you've got a problem. I'm sorry, I don't have any advice for you.
    I was 18 when I had my dd & dad was no where around. My father was also a drunk.
    I just had to make the best of it. I moved out more then once & was forced to move back in a few times.
    That baby is now 17 yrs old, hang in there and make the best of it.
    That's all you can do.
    SassySue123

    Answer by SassySue123 at 8:58 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • wow this is a tough position you are in. the only thing i could think of is to go to you local dss office and see if there is any way they can help you find your own place and get a job. i know that in some states you are able to get a work permit at 15 years old. in addition i know that when you become a parent a whole new set of rule sometimes applies to you. so as i said i would go down to my local dss office and see if there was any advice, help, or programs in my area. good luck.
    2breath2live

    Answer by 2breath2live at 8:58 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • well your in a tight spot right now, i would go to the dss department and see if they hae an options for your age group, i had mydaughter at 16 so i know your frustration. if you need to talk, feel free to pm me.
    MamaSusieQ045

    Answer by MamaSusieQ045 at 9:01 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • He can be mean just depends how far he will let himself go, he says pretty hurtful things to me, drunk or not. Everytime we get in to fights, he tells me i know where the door is, and nobody is stopping me from leave, but my mom wont let me leave. Even though my mom left us a few months ago because she could take it anymore. She moved back a few months ago, but my father has yet to change. Things are usually pretty calm at my house, but im almost 100% sure my dad doesnt want this baby, when i first found out i was pregnant, he tried to force me to work and do things that he knew would harm the baby, i just dont understand why he has to be like this. And yes we have tried to ask him about councling, but he finds it a waste of time. And there is no family around here that we could stay with all of our family lives more than 9 hours away, and i want my boyfriend in his sonds live. Im really confused.
    Mason_david95

    Comment by Mason_david95 (original poster) at 9:04 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • why cant u get a job? i had a job when i was 15- u might not be able to move out on ur salary but u can get a job- and i agree talk to ur local dss office about this or see if a freind can take u in-
    hes probally very hurt at u right now for getting pregnant-not to sound harsh but your only 15-
    as for the family..you got to think whats best for your baby-not your boyfreind- i know i sound like a bitch right now but i have been there done that- but ur going to be a mom now and unless u put that baby up for adoption u got to deal with what comes with it. and the first and for most thing is putting that baby b4 anyone else.
    sandraberke

    Answer by sandraberke at 9:14 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Im not trying to do whats best for my boyfriend? Im just trying to get my son away from the drinking, i understand he is hurt, i was his little girl, but now he just treats me like im a piece of gum on the bottom of his shoe.
    Mason_david95

    Comment by Mason_david95 (original poster) at 9:17 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • in his eyes ur tanted now...
    how does ur mom feel about all this??
    if there is no place to go and nouthing to do then make the best of the situation....stay to your room with the baby as much as u can. leave the house as much as u can. try not to anger him. . . this situation is like walking on egg shells and trying not to break one-
    sandraberke

    Answer by sandraberke at 9:22 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I havnt really expressed my feeling to my mom, but as far as i know, she is very exited. But i do know she doesnt like my dad drinking so much, there is just nothing i can do.
    Mason_david95

    Comment by Mason_david95 (original poster) at 9:25 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Have you tried a pregnancy assistance program in your area? they are helping me out or Will a womens shelter help out?
    Good luck Hun~
    babyhuey2

    Answer by babyhuey2 at 9:25 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

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