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I am so worried. My husband is a driver has been for years. we just got married a year ago. I am a driver too but a local driver. Sad to say I do not trust him. I am a very jealous person. And all he needs to do is break his routine and I freak and wonder well why? what was he doing?? Does anyone have advice to overcome this fear?

So I can look up his call logs and texts. There was a woman I found out over a year ago that they exchanged calls and texts for over 6 months. he said it was because he was going to look at a truck they were selling down in houston. She would not speak to me just text and tell me I have nothing to worry about. I finally confronted him about it and he ended up calling her and leaving a message on her phone sayin please don't call me or text me anymore. now he has gotten smart and I am afraid now he is just buying calling cards to call whoever is odd in his call history. Anytime he will call me first thing in the morning and now he is starting to be wierd and kind of rude to me and like this morning. I called him he did not answer and did not call back for hours. but yet when he finally did call back he was all rude and almost like he was mad at me. Now he has been gone for 6 weeks and will be gone for another 4. and at the end of that 4 weeks is our anniversary. does anyone please please have any advice for me?

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DawnTommy

Asked by DawnTommy at 11:35 PM on Jun. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Jealousy will kill a relationship, but at the same time you need to follow your instincts. Maybe he feels smothered, just guessing. I married my husband 28 years ago and a little jealousy is good but I do know if you're over jealous and checking his messages etc. he will come to resent you. It's a fine line I know.
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 11:45 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I know and that is what everyone tells me but how do you overcome it? our relationship is so odd so wierd I have never been with anyone like this and I am 30! He is nice one day telling me he missis me then the next I miss him and express it but then he responds with "ya" that's it. Its sad but I find the only thing to get me through these rediculous nights without him is to drink! I need so much help it isn't even funny!! And I feel so bad for my kids to have to live with my insanity! what do I do?
    DawnTommy

    Comment by DawnTommy (original poster) at 11:53 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • you have to get it together. PLEASE Stop drinking. that's not good for anyone. if you are that worried and really don't trust him, what's the point? i wish i had the answer for you. can you get involved with church and make new friends? if you need to talk, message/friend me. i am not sleeping much these days and I am a good listener. maybe we can figure it out together.
    mkdirector2011

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 12:35 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • First of all, you're #2, kids are #1, if you're so miseranle that it has any negative effects on your kids then maybe it's time to try a separation. I hate saying that but kids are involved and they should be your #1 priority, not alcohol and worry. Always stay strong for you and your kids.
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 12:39 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • mkdirector2011 I would love to have you as a friend please add me i can't figure out how.
    DawnTommy

    Comment by DawnTommy (original poster) at 1:16 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • You have to trust him. I don't know what it is like for you as a local driver, but an otr driver has no "routine" to break. My SO is one - they pick up and deliver whenever the load says to, and that is never consistent. He might drive nights one week, days the next, and a combo of the two the third week. The only consistency we have in terms of phone calls is that generally, we do speak before bed, but that might be at 3pm if he's going to bed early or 10pm if we're on the same schedule. We talk a couple hours a day, and there's plenty of times I have to let him go so I can feed the kids or take them to do something, or he has to let me go so he can pick up or deliver or stop for some food or the bathroom, or because his dispatcher is calling him.

    If you're drinking to deal with this, it sounds like whether he's doing something wrong or not, this relationship is not healthy for you.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 6:58 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • In fact, please don't take offense, but if you're drinking to deal with this, it sounds as though you aren't healthy to begin with, and the jealousy and lack of trust on your part are making it worse. The first thing you need to do is stop drinking. If you can do it entirely on your own, great. If not, go to AA or whatever you need to do. Something you might consider, too, is that drinking can and often does alter your thinking, so perhaps some of your concerns are coming from the drinking rather than him actually doing something wrong? Once you get that under control, talk to him about some of your concerns, but approach it carefully. Don't accuse him, just tell him you're feeling insecure and here's why and see what he says.

    If you really can't trust him, then the best thing to do might be to separate and spend some time thinking about the relationship and how strong/stable it really is.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:03 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • wow! if he has been caught doing the wrong thing than u have a right to go threw his shyt. if he is nice one second and mad at another for no reason than he is probably doing something wrong. the ladys are right you should not drink away pain thats a bad way to handle it...you need to get it together and gather your thoughts. if u dont trust him than u should be with him. u need to be happy.
    treeena1922

    Answer by treeena1922 at 7:35 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

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