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26 Bumps

Husband named our daughter after his ex !!!!!

My husband and I were only together a year when we got pregnant (and then quickly got married) .... after finding out we were having a girl, we started coming up with name, he said he wanted her name to be Elisia and I thought it was cute, so that is the name we gave our beautiful daughter....

Our daughter is now 2 years old (almost 3 and i am also now pregnant with a little boy) ... I was on facebook the other day and was looking at the new pictures he put on his Facebook... I noticed a woman named Elisia commented on a photo of our daughter and she said " how cute, you named your little girl after me" ... I didnt think anything of it, but then a little later my mother in law commented on it and said " that is a little out of place, Kev, you better delete that comment" ... which made me wonder what was going on... I called my mother in law and she told me that is his old girlfriend ( which now makes me understand why she didnt want us to name her that ) ....

It was like the air got kicked out of me.... Not only did my husband purposly name OUR daughter after the woman he dated for 4 years ( that he never told me about ) ... but he talks to her on facebook...

This hurts me so bad I even threw up out of disgust... It feels like I dont even know who he is ...

we had an arguement over it, and i told him ( trying to be mean) , he will like like when I name my son after my ex too ( i wouldnt really ) ... but since then my daugher and i have been staying at my moms...

I just do not know what to do... I dont know if I can even look at him again...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:42 AM on Jun. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (47)
  • You have every right to be upset. What a jerky thing to do. Why didn't your mil say anything before? I'd give yourself some time to cool down and for him to come up w a good apology.

    Answer by bloomsr at 8:45 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Wow. That's seriously messed up. I could see if it's a more common name, but that's just too ironic.

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 8:45 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I recently found out that my grandfather picked all of the middle names for my mom and her sisters - and every one of them is named after a fling. I can't imagine how badly you must feel, but I would seriously question your husband and his motives on this, not just because of the name but because of the continued and hidden relationship with this woman.

    Answer by scout_mom at 8:46 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • well i think that is something he needs to grovel for .... i would wait it out. let him have to beg you to come home. he should begin by saying goodbye to the ex forever... he should explain to her that he f=ed up and she didnt do anything wrong but that it isnt appropriate for him to have any contact anymore... then go ahead any name your son whatever you want w/o regard to his feelings... that is seriously devious... he needs to make up for it... or maybe he really isnt worth it....

    Answer by AmaliaD at 8:46 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • obviously he's not over his ex. I'd be so over it. ew. I'm sorry this happened to you

    Answer by -lovingliam- at 8:46 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I just don't even know what to say to this. That is just not right! I hope he has a good explanation! Good luck, hon!

    Answer by hotfudgesunday at 8:47 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Let's hope the ex doesn't have a son named after your DH. Not to make you feel bad. Your DH has some explaining to do. And why is he having conversations with the ex?

    Answer by Cafemomoftwo217 at 8:48 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Wow. Coincidence? My name is Isa and there was a step grandfather who was 50 who would pick up Elise from school while I was waiting to pick up my son from school. He would get turned on by the fact that my name was similar to his granddaughter. Not to be funny but men can be very odd at times.GL ,I usually go by another name than Isa anyway so it will work out. But that Elisa sounds like a troublemaker.....

    Answer by geminilove7 at 8:49 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Ugh, so sorry. That was a rule DH and I put into place when we first started talking baby names, no names of exs and no names that exes used for their kids.

    Answer by Kimedbs at 8:50 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I would be soo angry, I dont know what Id be more angry over, I know how angry I get when I cought my Dh talking to ex(yes, I am one of those an ex is an ex for a reason, so no reason to talk to them if there are no "ties".), but him naming our daughter after one- ouuch. I definately let him grovel that. I would probably tell my daughter pick any name you want. At her age it could be very interesting and start calling her that. It could be a special mommy Elisa thing. Good Luck hon!

    Answer by kgrine at 9:08 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

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