Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

I am 45 yr and miss my parents terribly

With that said, I have always lived close to my parents seems like every time they move to another state it's not very long I am there.

My father retired a yr ago and they moved to NC. I am presently in MS. I am working full time and also work doing Karaoke shows 2 nights a week. I make pretty good money but the BF is having a hard time finding a good job.
We have thought about moving, staying with my parents until we find jobs and so on. My 17 yo is going into the 11th grade this year and about once a month she is ready to move and then the next she has a new friend and does not wanna leave.

I think I am ready to go and this present time she wants to stay here and Finnish school. My mother is devastated because she misses us so bad she has called me crying and saying she does not want to be away from us any longer............ If we stay my mother is upset and I really want to go before they are old and something happens to them. If I go and make my daughter go will hate me........I know what you are thinking she is 17 she has no choice. Well she will be 18 in December. I do not want to upset her but sometimes in life you have to do things you really don't want to do.

Please give me some advice, what would you do???


Asked by buttonlts at 9:27 AM on Jun. 6, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 21 (11,115 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • It's hard being away from family. Mine lives 1200 miles from me. I love it where I am and wouldn't want to live anywhere else. (I am also your age.) It's hard when they get together for something and I'm "left out" although I am always welcome to "come home." I am doing what is best for my children. (I have one that is 8) That is your job as a parent. My second oldest daughter is moving 10 hours from me with my grandchildren, I'm devastated, they've lived with me on and off for 5 years. But she is doing what she feels is best for her children. Parents of grown-ups have to understand that. Go and visit once in a while. They have to understand that you are a grown-up and need to do what is best for YOUR children.

    Answer by attap5 at 10:18 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • To quote your own advice, sometimes you have to do things you really don't want to. For you, this means staying where you are. You have a good job and make good money, why uproot your family for the unknown? I understand that you miss your parents, but you're an adult, eventually they will be gone (it happens to everyone, and it's awful) and then you won't be able to move to be with them. You're better off adjusting now.

    Answer by jteffs at 9:31 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Your kids come first. The best advice my grandma ever gave me was I was to go into the world and make my own family, my own world, and leave my mom and her and do what was right for me and my kids. I live 8 hours from my mom and dad and miss them all the time. My older kids are 21 (almost 22), 19, 17, 11, and 6. I have 2 grandkids as well. There is no way in hell Id ever move closer to my parents and pull my 17 yr old out of his senior year for my and my parents *wants*. Kids need stability, and thats what I have strived for. And now? 2 grandkids of my own? Id wouldnt move more then 10 minutes from them. EVER.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:48 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I definitely was not thinking "she's 17, she has no choice." I'm thinking..."It's past time to cut the cord."

    You have your life in MS and it would not make any sense to move to NC to live with your parents if you do not absolutely have to. They moved away from you, not vice versa. If your mom is so upset that you live so far away, let her pack up and move back. This is your daughter's high school years and, IMHO, it would not be right to move her away from her friends and her school and her life when it is not necessary. Wait until your daughter graduates and goes away to college...and then think about moving.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 10:20 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • ok so don't go and spend good quality time with my parents while they are in good health?????? Just wait for them to be gone cause it happens?????? I wont leave until I get a job there. You are right I am an adult but love my parents we are a very close family, I moved every three years when I was a kid being a military brat, I am just worried about my daughter that's all.

    Comment by buttonlts (original poster) at 9:37 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • ok ok ok I understand was just asking and that's why I have not gone yet is because of her. Come next week when she is having problems with friends she will come to me crying about how much she hates it here and wants to move, that's why I was asking cause when I decide to go she does not want to and when I'm finally fine here she wants to go.Thanks for telling me I need to live my life for my daughter I knew that already :)

    Comment by buttonlts (original poster) at 10:24 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I'd stay and let my child finish school. You can visit your mom and she can visit you. We purposely moved to the city and the area we wanted our kids to grow up in and have never moved. My dh has been in the same job for over 30 yrs.
    Some kids can handle it but others have had their entire lives changed just because they moved. You never know till it is to late.

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 1:56 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • You need to get some counseling. Why do your parents move away from you? Why is your mother more important to you than your daughter? Your daughter will be in college before you know it, settle yourself down!

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 3:54 PM on Jun. 7, 2011