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What should I do?

My 12 alomost 13 year old daughter is really excited about the movie Twilight Breaking Dawn. I saw the sneak peak trailer last night on t.v. and I saw that they show those two teenagers having sex. I don't feel comfortable taking her to this movie. She has her heart set on it but I just don't know. It was one thing to see the boys with their shirts off but this is too much. I don't want her to get the idea that you should lose yourself in some guy and marry him young so you can have sex with him. I really don't know what to say to her. I can be the stern parent and tell her no but I know that she has been looking forward to this movie for a long time. Any ideas how to break it to her gently? She is a really good kid who doesn't ask for much but I'm really not comfortable about taking her to this movie with very adult situations.

 

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:59 PM on Jun. 6, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (10)
  • Remind her that they are both 18 and waited until they were married to have sex. Then talk to her about the advantages and disadvantages of getting married so young. GL
    aheuszel

    Answer by aheuszel at 1:04 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I would tell her that having seen and learned more about the movie, I do not feel it is age appropriate for her. If she has learned the proper respect for you as her mom, she will accept that you are concerned for her welfare. If she hasn't yet gotten to this point, then you may to expand on your concerns, telling her that as her parent, it is your responsibility to decide what is and is not appropriate for her to see and do. Tell her you gave it fair consideration because you knew how badly she wanted to see it, but that movies stay around for a very long time and you are not saying she can never see it, but you are simply saying she cannot see it now.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:12 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Use this as a teaching opportunity. Explain to her about what you've seen that makes you uncomfortable and WHY, then have a discussion with her about teenage sex and all the possible outcomes. Then, if you feel she "gets it" let her go see the movie.

    "Jenny, I've seen trailers for the new movie you want to see, and I have some concerns that I'd like to talk with you about before I say yes or no about you seeing it....."
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:17 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I'm not into Twilight so I don't have a solid perspective on the film or books. That said, the film, as I understand it, is not yet rated and there are some that question the film makers ability to keep it at a PG-13 rating. An R rating would certainly make it easier to say "I know I said we'd see it, but the film is clearly not age appropriate and as no fun as it is, I need to be the parent and say no.'

    Another option is to tell her you're not sure about the content and you need to see it first before making a decision. That will allow you to make an informed decision about what is really depicted and her ability to handle it.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 1:22 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • let her know that a movie and real life are two different things. talk to her about why you dont feel its appropriate. and ask her if she understands why you dont want her to watch it. if she says no or gets an attitude then she isnt ready to watch it.
    Hopeful44

    Answer by Hopeful44 at 1:46 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Go see the movie with her and use it as a teaching opportunity.
    tspillane

    Answer by tspillane at 10:21 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Okay, I have a son, and at nine years he was dying to see the new transformers...A PG 13 DH and i went to screen it first and did not let him see it in the theater. That way, every time something came up, I paused the movie and explained why he was not to say that, or do that or whatever. He still got to see his beloved movie, but I could control the "lessons" in it.
    hollydaze1974

    Answer by hollydaze1974 at 12:02 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • My daughter is 13 and she wants to see the movie.. I told her that it's just a movie and that there not really having sex.. Explain to her how you feel about the movie. Talk to her about it..
    AJMcGuire

    Answer by AJMcGuire at 9:11 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Well, my daughter is 13, the other is 11, and they wanted to watch Red Riding Hood, but I didn't let them. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with it, exactly, but my intuition was telling me not to let them watch it.
    As for Breaking Dawn, I don't think I will let my girls see that either, until they are older. They do not need to be watching movies where people have sex, regardless of how old they are or not. And I have done some research about BD as well and the sex scenes are very graphic and all. Plus when she has the baby there will be a lot of gore and blood and all that.
    This movie IS NOT going to be like the other three before it....
    chavela_carlita

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 4:25 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • She can always read the book, it isn't graphic at all. I mean duh you can tell they had sex but it doesn't describe anything in detail at all.
    chavela_carlita

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 4:26 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

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