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How do you deal with feeling unappreciated by your family?

I get all into this home making stuff. I do feel taking care of my family is important.I love a clean house. I like that I can cook good meals for my family. Although doing that 3 times a day gets tiresome. I usually cook supper and we have a quick breakfast and lunch but the kiddies are getting tired of cereal and dh throws hints that he wants breakfast so I started making breakfast in the morning too. All that has done is make me feel even more stretched for time and unappreciated. I think I do a great job at UNTILL that feeling of being taken for granted creeps in or dh can't find something due to the fact that because of them (there slack ways that I can't seem to break) I haven't had time to put something away properly.Then I lose all motivation to do anything. Things start getting behind or if I do it anyway I find myself getting grouchy. Especially when I see the nastiness they(dh included) leave laying everywhere. I feel dh thinks I actually have it easy. He has no clue and if he does he sure don't show it. He thinks he's jealous of my position but I'm like jealous of his. I mean the work ends and he can go zone out in his "man cave" for hours on end. I constantly have something going on, someone tugging at me or needing something or something on my mind needing to be done. I could do it and do it well if only my "feelings" could stay out of it. If I could quit getting so down about it and feeling taken for granted. Any advice on how to do that and maybe how to get the family to notice. I've tried working in front of them so they see but does not work. They only seem to notice then that I am not spending time with them. AAARRRRGGG!!!!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Jun. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Sigh, isn't that the definition of mom?

    Answer by Shanna84 at 1:56 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • lol, yeh but why can't I deal without feeling down?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:58 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Family meeting time. They're probably so used to you doing what you do (and enjoying it) that they haven't realized you need a break too. Talk to your DH first - tell him what's going on and then go from there. If he doesn't accommodate your needs, for me personally, I would start letting everyone fend for themselves provided the children are old enough to do so. You need some time for YOU. Explain to your family that a happy mom/wife equals a happier household :) I hope things get better for you! I know exactly what you are going through and I learned that if I didn't MAKE myself be heard, I never would be. I had to stop just doing things because no one else would or because I was supposed to. It sucks because it may mean living in a house where the dishes are driving you mad, but it may make your family realize how much you do for them. Sometimes we all need a wake-up call.

    Answer by SpiffySnaps at 2:35 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Talk to your doctor about your 'down' feelings. Mine put me on wellbutrin which also gives my libido a boost. It also helps if you take some 'me' time. You can go on and on about the things you are doing for others, but what have you done for yourself lately? Happiness is not somthing that happens to you, it's somthing you DO.

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 2:45 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • why is the answer always 'go to the doctor and get some pills'?
    is that the only way to deal with things any more?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I know so much how u are feeling, i have a teen , an 11 yr old , my teens gf lives with us and my fiance. I am the only one that works. i work about 13 hurs daily and then i have to come home at times and cook. i had the family meeting. that last all of two days. now they wait till i drive up and then start cleaning an wanting to cook. by the time i get home its like 7pm. i wish i had an answer! im looking for one myself. i cry everyday. there are days i want to just drive past my house and keep going( but with gas theses days!!) so i go home and continue working. When i express to everyone how i feel, they say im having an attitude or they take things all personal and then some how i come out to be the one to appologize and then nothing changes, so please if u come up with a plan let me know cause im running thin. Yes i have been to the doctors, and pills are their answer!!

    Answer by CHEEKIEMAMA at 11:49 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

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