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How do you make it work with a workaholic?

My bf is in the military and currently deployed. When he was here on his R&R he barely spent any time with our son. He wasnt here through the pregnancy or delivery so that was the first time he met our son. I am just not sure how to handle the fact that he is not very actively trying to be apart of the baby's life even from the time he was here. How do you make it work when your significant other is married to their job?

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DaniGrl07

Asked by DaniGrl07 at 2:19 PM on Jun. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (23 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • My situation isn't the same but my husband is on call 24/7.....I rarely see him and my son is a toddler. I take what I can get and don't takes for granted the time we do have together. Its hard but I know he loves me and our son. That's enough for me. I appreciate him for how hard he works to provide for us. I look at it like he works so much and so hard, he deserves his time too!
    cmgIII

    Answer by cmgIII at 2:28 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I don't think he has had a chance to bond with the baby. I know it's tough when your husband has been deployed but didn't you know this could happen? I think you should cut him some slack on this one. He only came home for a few weeks at best during r&r. When a soldier comes back from war he/she has to change thier entire mindset from survival to civilian. It's not easy and I can't even list the issues and complications in this forum. I think you should make friends with some experienced military wives and discuss things with your military chaplain. It's very important that the families be prepared to help the soldier readjust when he gets home. Good luck dear.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 2:33 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Its not the fact that I am not cutting him slack because boy am I ever. But what pissed me off the most was that our son had a doctors appointment and he said he would take us to and he ditched us no call, text, nothing and went to hang out at his ex girlfriends house. I knew that we could potentionally hit this wall but the fact is he hardly asks about the baby when we do talk. I am just not sure if he really is ready to be a dad
    DaniGrl07

    Comment by DaniGrl07 (original poster) at 2:38 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Well if he's hanging with his ex instead of u and his baby then obviously he isn't worth waiting around for.
    BitsMom00

    Answer by BitsMom00 at 5:53 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • He says that he loves me and wants to be a family but sometimes actions speak louder than words and the fact that he was just like MIA for most of his leave worries me
    DaniGrl07

    Comment by DaniGrl07 (original poster) at 1:46 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

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