Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

My mom called me heartless....

How would you describe my reaction.

She calls me to tell me my cousin (male) is getting divorced after only about 5 yrs. I had no reaction... just an annoyed sigh. She questioned it, and I said "well is anyone surprised??" No one was very fond of the wife when they were dating, she was spoiled and selfish. No one was very fond of how she handled the wedding, had no concept of money... spend spend spend. About a year after they were married she caused problems again.

Mom asked me "dont you feel bad when a marriage breaks up" I said "I feel bad for his kids, I feel bad for the grandparents who may not see them... but I certainly dont feel bad for him. It was his choice to marry her... he KNEW what she was like"

This is when she told me I was cold hearted.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Jun. 6, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • We are all entitled to our opinions and that was your mom's about your comment. Good bad or indifferent..I'd just move on.

    Answer by meooma at 4:56 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I get what you are saying...ya did sound a bit cold.

    Answer by ochsamom at 3:08 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • No offense,but your cousin needs some sympathy now not I told u so! U did sound like a bitch! sorry.

    Answer by dancer at 3:10 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Your opinion may be valid but the way you said it was pretty cold.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 3:11 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • i can see both sides of this. i can understand your mom, she feels bad fro everyone involved. She is feeling compassion for everyone in the situation. And yes, the situation does matter how stupid people think he is for marrying her.

    BUT, i understand why you react the way you do. My BIL has gone through 3 marriages & by the last one, i was over it. Everyone knew it wouldn't last & i did not feel sorry for him.....he walked right into that mess.

    I would not call you cold hearted, just someone who speaks the truth. Your mom just has compassion for them, she is sweet.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:11 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Well, it may be a little cold, but then I would be cold, too. I think I would feel the way you do, it's too bad for the kids definitely, and maybe even for your cousin as we all know love is blind and sometimes the spouse is the last one to figure out they aren't married to the perfect person, but unless you are really close with them I don't see how any of it is a very big deal to you. So I can see why you had the reaction you did. Now, had you said that to your cousin, that would be cold. Clearly this news was upsetting to your mother for her own reasons and she was looking for a bit more compassion from your side.

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:33 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • btw.... I never said this to HIM nor would I.


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:57 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I could see where she is coming from.

    Answer by Melbornj at 4:11 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Sorry, OP...agree with your mom. Having been on your cousin's side before myself, attitudes like yours are not necessary and welcome. You can't try to be a little sympathetic for the guy?

    Answer by rio_burb at 4:11 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • yeah, you sound a bit cold. I can see that you aren't surprised or sorry to see her go, but it would be nice to have a little compassion since it will be tough on him no matter if she was a b*tch or not.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 4:53 PM on Jun. 6, 2011