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Does this seem fair?

I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant and hve 2 kids. My SO works nights from 4pm to 12:30am. He gets home and stays up doing god knows what for a couple hours then he goes to sleep. I have to get up with my 2y old because he wakes up from 2-5 every morning. Then the kids get up at 7:30 every morning. So I end up getting 4-6 hours of sleep a night. Meanwhile he is sleeping. So he gets 8-10 hours of sleep. Does that seem fair I mean I'm the one making a human. I am just so tired and in pain and would be nice for him to help me.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Dec. 10, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Ahhh sleep jelousy. I get that a lot. Luckily I'm a stay at home mom but I still deserve 8 hours of sleep a night. Why don't you try telling him that you physically cannot take it as much and see if he will agree to taking turns. Just get up with your child every other night and the other nights your husband has to take a shot at it. Believe me, once he takes a try at it he will hopefully realize what you have been going through. Whenever my husband has to watch the kids for an hour while I grocery shop and I get home he is so tired and appreciates what I have to do during the day.
    Good luck and congrats on the new little baby on the way.

    Answer by leekim2004 at 11:32 AM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • No it isn't fair..But is is in your hands to change it. You must lay down rules and express your opinions. Ppl will do to you what you let them!

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 11:29 AM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • So, your 2 year old wakes up at 2 and goes back to sleep at 5? is that what you meant? well if your SO is already up for a couple of hours like you say, then why can't he at least get up with your 2 year old? It's only fair.. he only works an 8 hour shift at night, and 7 to 8 hours of sleep for him should be plenty. I mean really..

    Answer by JDanesMommy at 11:31 AM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • Yes he stays awake. The reason I do it is because when my SO is "relaxing" he does not want to be disturbed. So when he has to deal with it because Iam sick of in pain he get angry and tells him to just go back to sleep.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • well i recommed you to talk to him and tell him how are you feeling and if he please have him help you with the baby eventhough he goes to sleep late he can handle the baby while you sleep he needs to understand that you are pregnant and that you need to rest.

    Answer by Milindus at 11:36 AM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • well i have 3 and having another nxt month and my SO is pretty much an asshole in this department....Although he does work 12+ hours a day in the heat, rain, freezing cold...I am always the first on up and the last to bed I get up and get my daughter ready for school and take her and if the boys are up and need something they have to wait cause he will just lay in bed!!! then I get them breakfast he gets up and goes to work i take care of them all day then he comes home late at night and iv or i have to get all the kids fed and ready for bed alone and then get his supper while he sits on the computer and then clean up after him and then do whatever else b4 i can go to bed!! I do it all alone and its not easy but iv come to realize thats just how things are!!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 11:37 AM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • Your boyfriend needs a swift kick in the ass, you didn't make the kids by yourself and you shouldn't have to do everything. Let him know he can relax when the kids are grown and out of the house and until then if he's awake then he takes care of the kids, don't give him a choice.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 12:08 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • no my dh works nites and he always did all the nite feedings from 12 at nite till 6 am i was off, yo should do the same, lock him out of the bedroom if yo have to but stand up and demand your sleep time!

    Answer by AmaliaD at 12:12 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • 1st off, you need to get your 2 year old on a better schedule. There is no reason that a 2 year old should be up in the middle of the night for several hours. 2nd off, has he always been like this? Why do you continue to have kids with a man that does not participate in their lives? Have you sat down with him and explained how you feel - without being accusatory or emotional?

    Answer by Crazy-Steph at 12:13 PM on Dec. 10, 2008