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I need help on how to deal with tantrums/fits!?

SO my daughter is 3... and i thought 2 was bad!!! ha nothing on 3! if she doesn't get what she wants the second she wants it, or things are not done how she wants, and sometimes for what seems to us NO REASON! she go crazy, yells(ususally no words just screaming), kicks, throws herself on the floor, and for the first time today kicked me(RIGHT IN THE FACE)!!! NOT OKAY! so far for punishment we have tried a time out spot on the first floor, we finally have gotten her to stay but it doesn't change the behavior, we started making her go to her room, once she knows we are out of sight she is out of the bed messing around, i try to take away what she wants at the moment, for ex. if we are outside and she starts throughing a fit i will tell her to stop & if she does i tell her we i get to 3 we are going inside , i count, 9 times out of 10 the fit is still going so we go in, sometimes thats where it ends and when we get in she calms down or something the fit will go on for another 10-30 min and at that point i try to just ignore it. but with all this the fits still keep coming and i feel like i have lost control. i really don't want to spank, i don't want to raise my kids on fear but i am lost.... i know alot of kids go through this & part of it is just age and part if for attention ( her brother is 1) i try to make special time her ( craft time, weekly dance class) and it is frustrating that these fits never happen at school and almost never in public & when we are out, just at home! please help!!


Asked by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Jun. 6, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Wait! are you talking about MY daughter or YOURS?? My daughter started her Terrible 2's at 16 months, turned 4 in March and only NOW is it starting to get better. She is stubborn, willful, pig-headed, mulish, HAS to do it herself, bossy, argumentative, and JUST like her Mom.

    With the kicking and screaming tantrums send her to her room, does it really matter if she doesn't stay in her bed, as long as she STAYS in her room? This is one battle that you need to decide if it's worth fighting or not. My daughter HATES being isolated from the rest of us, so sending her to her room to have her tantrum by herself works well.

    In some ways though, if the tantrums are only at home that's a good thing. She knows that home is her safe harbor to have her meltdowns without fear of repercussions.

    As for spanking, if you don't want to DON'T. I can be good to snap her out of the tantrum, but not necessary.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 4:22 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • My son went through this for about 2 months, maybe not this bad with the kicking in the face but we've been really strict also before this and he's strong willed so its like a double whammy, you just have to mean business all the time -eventually you will win this but it does feel like a lifetime when you are going through it - my son is only 3-1/2 so its still happening also but I give him one warning to change his attitude or behavior and if not done instantly he goes to his room - we talk about it after he gets out so he knows why it was wrong and what I expect - then I remind him I love him and try to distract him with something fun to do.. doesn't always work but we do our best..

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:59 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • don't give her what she wants when she throws a fit make her say please and thank you when she wants something

    Answer by mamawilbur at 3:57 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I don't have any magic words for you, but I can tell you that this sounds just like what my niece would do when she was about that age. In her case it was closer to 4, but it sounds familiar and that's pretty much what I did with her as well. When the screaming fits got really bad I'd put on the MP3 play to help muffle the sound a bit, but I'd sit and still watch her to make sure she wasn't hurting herself.

    When she was put to bed, she would wait until she was alone and start playing with her toys. So when I put her to bed, I'd sit in her room. when she was told that I was going to sit there until she went to sleep, fit time again! She usually just thew the fit until she wore herself out.

    I'm sure this is really hard, but if she's not doing it in school or public then maybe you just need to do all you can to survive this time.
    I admit that my eyes are filled with tears, because I really miss her being that age!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on Jun. 6, 2011