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Do you think pedophile/sexual abuse is genetic?

This is very hard for me. I will be back to read the replies, but I wont be back to answer. I also want to add that I will never touch a child in any inappropriate way.

I was touched inappropriately when I was younger (for years)... and apparently, my abuser was too. Not that I fully care- doesn't give them the right. But to give insight on my question.

My son is 5 and while I did have a hard time changing his diaper, I still did it, but I couldn't change any females. Even when I worked at a daycare center- I just couldnt do it and got weirded out. I worked in the infant room and my thoughts were "what if they are thinking I'm touching them wrongly?" Even though they were babies- I still worried.

I dont really hug DS b/c of that fear... Recently, I seen a picture (an ad) on here with a little child getting ready to go swimming or something and my mind automatically went to how pediphilors look at that... It seems to be happening more and more recently. I hate it- I hate thinking that either this is from my past, genetics or I'm just sick and twisted in the head!

I engage in sexual activities with my BF, I have no fantasies for kids (I cant even think of dating someone 2 year younger than me!)... But what the hell is going on with me? I feel like my best option would be to give DS away; to a normal mother (bio-dad is not involved, DS hasnt met BF; too early in our relationship- its been about 8 months)... but then I think-- pretty sure DS does love me. I think he'll be devestated if I had to leave him/he had to leave me... especially at 5 years old... and i'm 100% positive that I'd never hurt DS- or any child- in that way... but my fear comes.. like if i hug DS, does that mean i'm touching him inappropriately? what about when i put lotion on him for his ezcema? (he's 5 and i taught him how to do it- but i still gotta get his back)...

i dont even know if there's help for somebody like me! and that scares me too!

What would you do in my position? Who do I go to, to seek help? Would DS be better off? (i have no family to take him in- no friends either). Is there even help for someone like me?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Jun. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I would get counseling to deal with your issues. Your not a pedophile..you are reacting to what happen to you as a child & you haven't dealt with it. Good luck to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I think you need to see a therapist before you decide to give your child up. A therapist would be better equipped in explaining your feelings towards children to you. It sounds as though you're uncomfortable around children because you're afraid being a pedophile is genetic, not because you actually want to touch them.
    MomMom23

    Answer by MomMom23 at 4:35 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • It sounds like you're dealing with is anxiety from what you experienced in your past. Since it happened to you at a young age, your mind may not have properly processed what was going on, so now you are questioning your interactions with your son.

    Get counselling, please, for your sake and your son's.
    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 4:35 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I was touched no I do not think its genetic maybe I am the wrong one to ask about this but no I think this is a control issue for some, someone did it to me so I am going to do to others. Genetic no revictimizing yes.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:35 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • OH gosh honey, I think you have PSTD,, and I think you need to enroll in counseling ASAP, it sounds like you might be having anxiety attacks as well. I know you said you wouldn't be re-answering, but I am curious to know if your abuser was a male or female? I think a good step would be in reporting to the authorities what happened to you, even if they can't do anything now, they might be able to prevent this from happening to someone else. I would start with the sexual abuse hotline, they could help you. I think your DS would be in a awful spot for you to give him up at this stage. Is he a happy boy? Do you enjoy spending time with him? You can tell you really love him, and that is so important, please call someone, and call them today!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 4:41 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • And no I don't think it is genetic.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 4:42 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I agree with the others that you should get some counseling/therapy before making a decision about your son.

    DigiScrapperMom

    Answer by DigiScrapperMom at 5:04 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Yes there is help. Please talk to your family practice doctor, or a psychiatrist?! If you can't do it for yourself than do it for your child.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 7:15 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • seek help asap..
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 7:23 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • theres always help, a counselor would be able to help you atleast a little bit. i understand where you are coming from, i always feel like people are trying to touch me and things like that. and its really hard to deal with bc i get really jumpy even with my own siblings and father.
    Cassie8293

    Answer by Cassie8293 at 3:13 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

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