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Trying to pull my family together, HELP?

I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters. When my father died 20 yrs ago we all fell apart as a family. We all tried to deal with it our own way instead of pulling together. All of us has made really bad choices. My mother has finally given up on trying to pull her family together. I would really like my Mom to see us as a family again. My siblings and I have not spoken in 18 yrs. I've tried to communicate and have gotten no or little response. It seems as though everyone is holding grudges. Can't we all just grow up? Anyway, I have always sent Christmas cards to everyone but this year I would like to add some kind of inspirational story or say something to them that may touch their hearts. Nobody even knows why we don't talk anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions? They are not religious at all either, and two of my brothers would take offense to anything religious.

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Asked by baycitygirl at 11:44 AM on Dec. 10, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • google Desiderata

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • As hard and sad as it is, you cannot create a closer family with siblings who refuse. If they will not even talk to you, I feel it is hopeless.

    You can try writing to them in an attempt to persuade them to join with you for the holidays for mom's sake, but other than that I do not know.

    I am in a somewhat similar situation, and I have learned to let go. I can only make myself happy not my extended family. The choice is theirs.

    Answer by Cene at 12:01 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • I tend to agree that you cannot MAKE it happen.

    But, do you have any pictures from when you guys were little? Maybe include a copy of a picture when you were all doing something silly or funny together and remind them of that happy time. I feel bad that your children are not getting to know their cousins. But you can only encourage them. The more you push the more they will rebel.

    Do you each at least have a good relationship with your mother?

    Answer by Crazy-Steph at 12:09 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • My sister and I had a falling out for yrs we didn't speak. I kept trying in vain. Then I wrote her about a "happy" memory fr. child hood and how we always looked out for each other etc... and she called me ..all is good again...GoodLuck !

    Answer by Mackenzie40 at 1:05 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

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