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My mother is embarrassed to go out in public with us

I realize that my daughter (19 months) is a handful at times. Recently I asked my mom to go out to eat with us and shopping. She declined saying that it is too difficult and too embrassing to go anywhere with us.

It really hurt my feelings. My toddler is very active, and does occassionally throw fits in the store, but I handle the situation each time.

She also said that we can only visit her every few weeks cause my daughter is too exhausting for her. I am ticked off and hurt at the same time. DH says to get over it. Also, this is her ONLY grandchild! Am I being childish here?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Dec. 10, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • you know what.. it is HER LOSS. she's the one that won't have these memories when your daughter is five. she should remember what it was like being a mom and having children. that is just crazy!!! But I don't understand why she wouldn't want her around. My mom goes crazy if she goes a few days without seeing my son. I would seriously either TALK to her about this.. or LET IT GO. That is really all you can do.. but I would be very hurt by it too.
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 12:14 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • I am chock at what I read. My child is 17 month old and he is a super active child. But beside that my mom love to have us over and go out. She love treeing to figure out what wrong with him and spoiled him. You are not being childish is your mother!!
    Jamie8788

    Answer by Jamie8788 at 12:10 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • yes she is doing childish, stop involving her in your life, when she comes around continue to give her a hard time and tell her she embarrasses you! turn it around and see how she feels eating her own medicine, that is they only way to deal with it, she seems like a real bitch no offence intended!
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 12:11 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • guess what..some grandparents don't enjoy being climbed over, run into, yelled at or standing watchin a toddler throw a fit. It is not our job. You bring them to the house and let them run wild and you have the nerve to get mad when we say enough. Who is the childish one here?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • I think this is horrible advice...I would not stop involving her in your daughters life..
    Your mom speaks the truth to you and you in turn should tell her how you feel. What this post says is childish and not an answer to your problem.

    quoting:amalia
    yes she is doing childish, stop involving her in your life, when she comes around continue to give her a hard time and tell her she embarrasses you! turn it around and see how she feels eating her own medicine, that is they only way to deal with it, she seems like a real bitch no offence intended!
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 12:19 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • I have a family member I will not go ANY where with because her child is out of control. People have a right to have boundries for what they consider tolerable or acceptable
    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 12:21 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • Ok, I understand that your mother telling you that hurt your feelings. That is understandable. But why does everyone think she is being childish? Some people are not kid people. I know that my aunt isn't all mushy for her grandkids. She only likes them in small doses. But she still loves them and their parents. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love your daughter. Maybe she just doesn't enjoy the toddler stage. At least she is being honest with you and not letting it fester.
    Crazy-Steph

    Answer by Crazy-Steph at 12:21 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • but telling her daughter that they embarrass her... IS WRONG.

    there is a much nicer way to say things.
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 12:39 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • So she should lie to her? Like I said, I understand that her feelings are hurt. Mine would be, too. Please give me an example of another way she could have said it? No matter what, it is going to hurt. But I don't think she is being "childish" for feeling the way she does.

    To the OP: do you know, was your mother embarrased to be out with YOU when you were a toddler? LIke I said, maybe it's just not her thing.
    Crazy-Steph

    Answer by Crazy-Steph at 12:52 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • i think honesty was the best answer and sometimes honesty hurts. just tell her that you wished that she didn't feel that way and does she have any ideas on how to get your child to sit better and not run a mock. i understand that kids go crazy but sometimes just distracting a kid by tickling can get the child engaged with you and they won't go crazy around the store or restaurant. that is what i do with my children. bringing a favorite toy helps too.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:55 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

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