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3 Bumps

How do I start this conversation? Please HELP!

I have 2 children with my boyfriend of 4 years and he has yet to pop the question. We talk about it..talk about who we would invite to our wedding and what state we would have it in but still theres no ring. Im 22 and I want to join the service..call me corny but not only do i want to serve my country I need to have some type of security in this situation. I have no job, no education or money saved. SOOO if I dont have a a commitment securing me with this man then I need to take a step to provide security for myself and my girls if something were to happen. How do i bring this up? I dnt want to try n force him but in the same token I need some sort of commitment.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on Jun. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • be very frank with him and tell him exactly what u just said. another thing is you have 2 kids together, he needs to step up to the plate and do the right thing by you and the kids.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 7:22 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Well first of all I don't think they allow single mothers to join the service anymore,, I don't know if it is all branches or not. I would just say honey, letts go to the courthouse this weekend,, what do you think?
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:23 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • just casually pop out a date... lets get married next fall! i think were ready for it! OR im joining the military so i can provide for the kidos cuz ur too chicken to pop the question LOL that was a JOKE BTW

    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 7:24 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Tell him just the way u said it,that is perfect!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 7:26 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I would try to bring it up without putting a huge amt of pressure on, I would probably open the dialogue with something like how do you see things with us in the future?? Is marriage something you want or are you unsure about the whole idea of it.....and voice your thoughts and concerns from there. You sure have the right to have this conversation so I wouldnt feel uncomfortable bringing it up and discussing it openly. Good Luck with this!
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 7:27 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • First, the military will not let you in as a single lady with kids unless you give custody over to some one else. My DD tried. Or be married. If you want to marry him. Just ask him.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:29 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • i agree with Princess_s21
    mamawilbur

    Answer by mamawilbur at 7:30 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Just live your life for you and your girls. Join the military. If your leaving town doesn't make him pop the question than that's what you were going to do anyway.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 7:32 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • My DH claimed it was me who proposed to him, because it was me who started the conversation; ha, doesn't matter, we've been married 20 years now. I understand your reluctance to bring it up, but I agree that it is a conversation you deserve to have, and you need to open with: do you see us getting married by this time next year? and start talking about a date.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 7:34 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • .......I know I cannot join the militart with children and not married...I would sign over custody to my mother and she would have my girls while I went to boot camp and basic training...I think im so nervous because i dont want to hear anything negative.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:35 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

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