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2 Bumps

How much is too much? How much longer should we help him? Long*

So my neighbor has been knocking on our door for the past week now 8 times a day! He is bi polar and is most likely getting evicted from his place. He can't afford his rent increase and he has broken his patio window and punch holes in the walls. Now a few months ago we got along with him great and we would bring him food at least 3 times a week.(He doesn't work and Social security pays his bills) Well my husband even gave him our old tv so he would have something to do. He ended up selling it 2 weeks later for drugs. We can tell since then he was going down hill. He had a friend that was homeless move in with him and his friend is a thief and a drug addict( he would always ask my DH to by something he stole from him and my DH told him no). A week ago our neighbor took all the stolen items out on the sidewalk in front of his place. Then the next day he brought it all in then brought it outside again. Well when he broke his window he was arrested and stayed in jail for 2 days then came back. Now he has no electricity and no food. He asked us for food and I made sure to give him enough food for at least 4 days. He asks for more food everyday now! There is a church 3 blocks away that gives out food and I wonder why he doesn't ask them to. He asks to use our phone when he has a cell phone and my DH just helped him last night to load his pre paid mins on it! Today he used our phone so far 3 times. He borrows money from his family so he can buy his cigarettes and drugs instead of buying food. I am just wondering how long should we keep answering our door to him? I really like to help people out but I just feel like we are being taken advantage of here. What do you think? He is knocking again as I type this!


Asked by momavanessa at 8:10 PM on Jun. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,503 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I like to help out a person in need also, but enough is enough! He knows that you guys won't say NO so he is taking your kindness for weakness, try to let him know nicely that you can no longer help him and maybe he will get it, and if not then maybe he only understands "right to the point" that your not going to help him but you can let him know who can!!!

    Answer by MsHelen723 at 8:55 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • don't answer your door. i would stop talking to this guy altogether. he is bad news. you gave him an inch and he took a mile. i know you and your hubby was being nice but it is working to your disadvantage now.

    Answer by gwen20 at 8:13 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • I think he needs some help,, I am not sure where to start, but do you know the landlord? I would have a really gentle conversation about who his social worker is, and find a way to get in touch with them, you never know if this would escalate or not, and I think you need to find out if he has parents, or a brother or sister? He might be off of his meds, and I want you all to be safe.

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:17 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • He has parents, sisters, a ex wife, and 2 kids. He calls them for money all the time! His kids are teens and I have only seen them at his place twice since he moved in a year ago. He was so put together then he had his hair always trimmed and slicked back clean shaven face and was just a different person. I think that man that he became friends with helped him start up with the drugs again. It really bothers me that things for him are so bad!

    Comment by momavanessa (original poster) at 8:27 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • You are enabling him.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 2:05 AM on Jun. 7, 2011