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2 Bumps

My heart breaks for my daughter...

MY baby is 4yrs old and has a father that doesnt care for her at all what so ever. It hurts and it hurts me real bad. We were together strong before she was born and then when she was born our relationship changed. We were for the most part still in love and were together for about 3 yrs on and off. During my entire relationship with him it was clear he was still in love with his ex and they were always talking. His reasons he because she says hes the father of her kid no dna test nothing to confirm. He told me that she cheated on her husband to be with him. While we were together I didnt mind him talking tto her regarding the kid and only the kid. I didnt mind that he spent time with the kid. but what hurts me is that he puts that girl and the kid before my daughter and myself. After I guess he built a relationship with the kid he basically left me. All of his actions show that he hates me for no apparent reason. He files for visitation and never sees my daughter. my daughter loves him and it breaks my heart that she doesnt have a father. He constantly spends time with his 'son' and none with my daughter. its been a year since she saw him. Instead of trrying to be with her he constantly takes me to court for visitation, more visitiation time and never shows. He maes compliant after complaint against me to dcf to have my daughter taken to foster care. I am a good mother a good person and have been through nothing but shit in my life and feel like I passed that on to my daughter. my daughters bday is at the end of the month and its hard and embarrassing.
I am just so hurt. So hurt that he abandons his flesh and blood for someone else and her kid. I cant get over it and just want good things and happiness but I doubt Id ever be happy and I dont want my daughter to grow like me and he unahppy.

just venting.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on Jun. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • Hugs. It can only get better!

    If you need to vent, PM me.
    I have been through this and MORE!

    Answer by MoNKeyBoyz at 11:14 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • It will only get better. You just stay strong and present in your daughters life.

    Answer by Banae26 at 11:27 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • i have twins who are 20 months. i found out i was pregnant after i broke up with "him". he said he didnt believe me when i told him, and hasn't made any effort to be involved or even know their names or see their pictures. he also has a son who is 6 months older than my boys and he has visitation with him, but has never ever used it. he also doesn't pay child support for any of his kids.
    i know how you feel i beat myself up everyday and i just hope i meet the right guy while theyre young so they can have a real father

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 12:13 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • aw, i'm sorry & i can't imagine ! but listen to this & i know it's nothing you don't already know & i know it's hard BUT you WILL stress yourself so BADLY trying to wonder why... & you will wear yourself out trying to wrap your head around why a man wouldn't want to see his child yet he wants to see someone else's child that he doesn't even know is his ! but, DON'T TRY TO WRAP YOUR HEAD AROUND IT, because it will drive you insane & stress you out & your DD will know that ! YOU can only do the best YOU CAN for YOUR daughter ! if he doesn't want to see her, then thats his problem you can;t control him or what he wants you can only be the best mother you can be for her, i know its easier said than done but if you keep trying to figure it out you will be dissapointed! if ur DD asked just say idk where daddy is but guess what MOMMY'S right here & I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING ! & eventually u will b able to tell her the truth :)

    Answer by ZoeyMariah. at 1:52 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Its odd that iv gone through the same thing twice my daughter who is 30 now , and two sons 23 25 resent me for the breakups, my daughters father for 15 years never did any thing for her nothin!!!!!!!!!!!!!well at about that time wanted to be in her life and it was so ,, needless to say they all blame me for their misserable existance, I was a good mom did everything for them everthing all alone on welfare,, cooked cleaned drove made their apointments dentist karate you name iv done it for all three yet today I get the sh t end i was a no good mom cause of the break ups iget dist all the time no apreciations of any of the sacrifises iv made ,,,how that hurts I truely can not tell you!!!!!!!!!!!!It hurts so bad that I think os some of the kids I knew had parents that made them live in pig shit, stinking clothes ect but you know what they have so much love and respect for them ????If any one out there can relate please get back!

    Answer by normalee at 3:35 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Honestly I think it would do more harm than good to have a such a horrible example of a father in her life! Don't feel bad, feel proud of urself for being a great mom! Being a single mom is no easy job I'm sure, ur giving her double the love being a mom and dad!

    Answer by PANZONSMOM at 10:12 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Just look at it this way, when she gets older she will realize what kind of scum he really is. and as far as him taking you to court constantly about visitation and not doing anything after that (not seeing her) why dont' you take him to court and have his parental rights taken away. obviously he doesn't care about his daughter if he hasn't seen her in a year. that is sad, he is i have to say a dispectable pig. not wanting to have anything with you is one thing but your child, your flesh and blood, something you created and wants nothing to do with her. karma will get him.

    Answer by lucky35 at 3:26 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Wow. I felt like I was reading my life. I am going through the exact same thing! Just be there for her. Because she knows. Trust me. She knows. My daughter is only 3 and she know. She know her father is unreliable. She know how bad he has hurt me. How do she know this? Its beyond me.
    As long as youre ALWAYS there for her.
    She will know who to trust and look to.
    I was raised with both parents in the household.
    But for my daughter to not get the same opportunity makes me furious
    Im just going to give her double the love.
    And when the time comes, when she wants answers.
    Tell her the truth. Do not sugarcoat.
    When that loser comes back around.
    Let him answer those hard questions.
    Make his punk a** sweat.
    Im here if you ever want to talk
    Remember that you are a strong woman.
    Put a smile on your face.

    Answer by ariaautumn08 at 3:41 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Thank you arianutumn my daughter just turned 4 and she knows it all too. Its sad...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:10 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

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