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anal sex....

ok so i do this with my husband to please him rather then me. it really doesn't feel good to me in any way. he has been asking and so i said ok. thing was that while i was on top of him hurting while doing it i got to thinking how selfish it is of him to ask and see me in this state of pain. i started to feel this wrong of me?

after all i did say ok, again. i guess after the first time i just should of said never again. to me though it just seems like if he knows i don't like it why would he want me to put me through that just to please himself. shouldn't he want me to enjoy sex as well?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Dec. 10, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • well... i kinda feel the same way. i agreed to it a few times and only one time (I was very intoxicated and there was alot of lube involved) was it actually something more than barely tolerable. one time dh says i'll never ask again, but he does. i just keep telling him no. i told him very clearly one time recently i don't like it... it's not just that it doesn't feel good, but it feels very NOT good and hurts alot and i don't want to do it. i don't think he's asked again - i don't think he really understood completely. and he even said he wouldn't want to ask me to do anything that hurt me. just make sure your hubby understands exactly how you feel and that you are getting resentful, angry, whatever about the whole subject and that is not how you want your sex to be.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • thats when you say HECK NO GET OFF. It is not worth it and you can just deal with it =] I refuse. We tried once or twice and that pain is UNREAL. never again.

    Answer by krazyash023 at 1:14 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • No, you're not wrong, and yes, he should want you to enjoy it, too. But since you are willing, maybe he doesn't realize how much you dislike it. You should talk to him about it. You don't want to harbor resentment like that.

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 1:15 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • That sounds selfish of him. If it's painful for you then the idea should be dropped. Would he go through something painful like that to please you?

    You have an area specifically meant for that stuff...I don't see why it makes any difference to a guy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • You did agree, so you can't be mad at him, however, don't do it again..I often ask my husband if I can stick a dildo up his butt? And I obviously get ..Hell NO..So ask him that, it is the same thing..But some women do enjoy it! I personally hate it. Maybe he thought you do enjoy it? IDK

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 1:18 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • i feel like that sometimes too.... but i wont ever do that again. i hate anal. it made him upset at first, but i didnt care. what am i supposed to do? deal with it for him to have pleasure? heck no. lol.
    he got over it.

    Answer by kiliki_malie at 1:18 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • If you haven't straight up told him how much you don't like it, try not to be mad at him, because he is obviously clueless.  If you tell him you hate it and it hurts you, and he still wants you to do it - that's when you should be mad/resentful! 

    Whatever you do, don't consent to it again if you don't want it...I know it's hard refuse the person you love something they want, but if you don't, you'll have no one to resent but yourself...


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • Looks to me like with you on top it would hurt more. I tried it but couldn't get past go, I just don't think there's enough lube in the world to make it not hurt for me. But my hubby agreed when I tried it, that if there was pain to say something and it would stop right then and it did. But there was something else he was doing and I didn't say anything even tho it bugged me...long story short I wasn't saying anything about it cause I thought he liked it, he wasn't saying anything cause he thought I liked it.... so communicate. Took me 14 yrs to say something and now we both laugh thinking he didn't like doing it, I hated having it done... now we both happy lol

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:25 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • OH my god I can't believe all you women willing to let someone shove something in your butt. HELL NO no one is EVER putting their dick in my ass. It's disgusting and disrespectful.

    Answer by sarguylas at 3:04 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • Don't knock it if you have not tried it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on Dec. 10, 2008