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3 Bumps

Am I crazy for staying???

To start off I have been married for almost 4 years .Well in the begainning of our marriage my husband cheated on me with his daughter mom. I would think after 3 years I would be able to get over it and I guess I could if we didn't have to see her every other weekend.Everytime we see her the hurt comes back and I start getting mad at my husband.Don't get me wrong he is a great father and husband but I feel if he loved like he says he would have never went back to her..Tell me what you would have done

 
jdwilson864

Asked by jdwilson864 at 5:51 AM on Jun. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (38 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I could never forgive cheating especially in the confines of a marriage.
    your a stronger women then I am for staying. wish you the best.
    amanda_23

    Answer by amanda_23 at 6:05 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I think that he made a huge mistake that he can never take back and the person he hurt most is YOU! I don't think a person ever gets over the feeling of betrayal but they learn how to live with it. Many marriages do make it but it may take counseling. If you love this man then your going to have to find a way to get past the pain and not let it consume you and it takes time ! He's moved on from it and you haven't, your the unfortunate one that gets to live with the pain. Do you and your family a favor, get counseling so that you can get on with the life that you deserve!

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 6:43 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • After 3 years and you still can't get over him cheating with his EX. Leave and let his EX have him.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:15 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • takes a long time to get over cheating
    when he has to see her because they have a chld together - wow=very hard because yes, it is in your face
    like a sore that is not allowed to heal

    talk to him about it
    maybe the two of you can figure out a way that she is not holding daughter over his head as much
    maybe when exchange of child happens, you do not have to be around (although-you will have to have trust in him that nothing again will happen)

    have you seen a therapist? maybe time for this

    it is normal to feel this way
    even after three years, because it is always in your face, if the woman was long gone-different story
    give yourself a break for feeling this way
    and
    talk to your husband
    hopefully he is supportive and offers a shoulder for you
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:04 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • ohhhhhhhhhhhh hun this is so baaad me to i will never forgive him for wt he didi
    & even its to hard on you to see the other girl :(:( tell him that u & him u shuold to saty away from this girl !!!!!!
    Dodez

    Answer by Dodez at 6:25 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Thanks for everyones advice.I am trying hard to forgive and forget for our 2 girls because I don't want them to be w/o a father like my oldest 2.Its just she is nothing but trouble she hold his daughter over his head to get what she wants and It makes me sick,,,,
    jdwilson864

    Comment by jdwilson864 (original poster) at 7:05 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • To leave or not to leave- easier said than done. I chose to stay with my husband after he cheated on me after 25 years of marriage. I still feel it was the right decision for me. However, although I forgave him, I know I won't really ever forget. This year we'll be married 32 years. Whether you leave him or not, forgiveness is something you need to do for yourself. Harboring ill feelings will only eat you up inside. Make your feelings clear to him and welcome his. Maybe you should suggest some counseling for both of you- separately and then together. I still see my psychologist on a regular basis, not only because of this issue, but for a number of them that caused me to have a nervous breakdown. Professional help is always the best way to go. Good luck!
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 7:53 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I completely agree with fiatpax. It is like a sore that isnt able to heal, but I dont think you should leave him. Alot of times on here you get people who leave at the first sign of an issue. All marriages have issues. some worse than others. But its up to you an hubby to find a way to deal with them, then if you cant go from there. But I think if you talked to him and maybe you could pick up his daughter, yes you would have to see her, but you wouldnt see your DH wiht her... Just remember, he's still with you hon, he loves you, just sometimes you need to be reminded how much. Good Luck hon!
    kgrine

    Answer by kgrine at 8:29 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Im not a relationship expert and ultimately the decision is urs. But in my experience, if they did it once they will do it again. Sorry I'm not coin to sugar coat. My husband n I have let each other know, if one of us feels the need to stray and we find out. Its over!!
    I was in a relationship where I luved the man very much and I let him get away with it once. Then he thought he cld continue to do it especially if he can keep it hidden.
    startingover777

    Answer by startingover777 at 10:17 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Im not a relationship expert and ultimately the decision is urs. But in my experience, if they did it once they will do it again. Sorry I'm not coin to sugar coat. My husband n I have let each other know, if one of us feels the need to stray and we find out. Its over!!
    I was in a relationship where I luved the man very much and I let him get away with it once. Then he thought he cld continue to do it especially if he can keep it hidden. So the next time we got into a huge fight n I had to walk away.
    startingover777

    Answer by startingover777 at 10:19 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

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