Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

my boyfriend is being a pain....what would you do

he threated my ex husband cause he was over seeing his kids and helping me with some stuff. in the past my ex and had some big time issues and we got over that and are trying to be friends, we still have our arguements now and again be for the most part we get along. i told my boyfriend to stay out of it but he doesnt want my ex around period. and he also callin my ex bfs and threatin them cause of some comments they made about me, told him to let it go but he cant. i feel so helpless i feel like im always on pins and needles with him...advice please i dont know what to do all i know is im hurting and tired of him being this way

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Dec. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • your bf needs to understand that your x well always be in your life, you have children together. The kids also don't need to see you on "pins and needles" - if you are I am sure they are, children feed off of our emotions. If this is hurting you then maybe this isn't the relationship for you, there more fish in the sea.
    shelia3

    Answer by shelia3 at 1:49 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • This man seems to be very jealous and overprotective. This kind of behavior can easily lead to abuse, both mental and physical. If you stay with this man you will most likely spend all of your time afraid that he will threaten male coworkers or friends that you talk to, or that he'll go beat up some stranger that winked at you, etc. That is not something you need to deal with and certainly not something that your children need to see. I would sit him down and explain to him that, though it's flatering to know that he cares so much about as to be protective, his behavior is inappropriate and that if it continues it is not something you are able to live with. After that it is up to him!
    Arismama05

    Answer by Arismama05 at 1:52 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • He needs to grow up...you have kids with this person...he is here for at least 18yrs so he needs to grow up and shut up...this is not high school...or is it?
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:57 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • Pins and needles can and will destroy any relationship. Your BF needs to understand that your children have a father...how would he feel if the roles were reversed? If he continues to interfer with X and childrens relationship you will have a battle on your hands. Straighten his ass out now before it gets out of hand.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:05 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • I think it's best if you tell him that if he can't learn to get along then you're going to have to end the relationship. You're going to have this ex in your life for a long long long time and it's best for the kids (no matter if they're grown or not) for their parents to get along.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:17 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • Your ex is going to be in your life for life! Even after 18 there will be college graduations, weddings, funerals! You're always going to see him. I think your BF needs to realize this and stop causing trouble. Maybe if you explain to him that you will be bound to your ex forever (by children) that he needs to learn to handle it. If he can't then maybe he should move on.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 2:35 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • it is completely wrong of him to interfere in your children's relationship with their father, as well as your relationship with your ex. a mature person realizes that at minimum a polite relationship is necessary to parent children together, which is your priority. your bf is an immature, possessive, and potentially abusive man. you don't need to be part of threats and jealousy. get rid of his ass.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:57 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • Is he really worth it? I'd leave a control freak like that. Just my opinion.

    strongmom40

    Answer by strongmom40 at 11:50 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • These situations can be tricky....but your new man needs to accept the fact that you have children and they have a father who is a part of their lives. He needs to relize you are divorced for a reason, but you are both still the parents of the children, and they deserve to have their parents as involved as possible in their lives...that is in the best interest of the children. Your new man needs to see it that way...and if he plans on being in your lives long term, he should be thinking about your children too, and what is important in their lives.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 2:24 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Well, it is a tough situation. I am in one except my man never married the mother. It is all depends on how much interacting you are having with your ex hubby and what kinds and if your ex hubby is still have feelings for you or you having feelings for him. My hubbys baby momma is bitter because she still wants him. But if two people are completely over each other and is doing things for the kids than it would be ok.
    aznblond9

    Answer by aznblond9 at 9:32 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN