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Husband wants divorce and my family thinks I'm taking it to well

My husband just got back from a 10 month deployment over seas, when he was over there he had an "emotional affair" with some woman over the internet. There was a time where I was upset but now I'm just ready to move on and get past it. Well the other day he tells me that he is done and wants a divorce. I was a mess but now I'm just ready to move on and get it over with. I am currenty living with my parents and they seem to want me to be a mess still. In my mind I have had a year of finding out who I am and what I want in life. And if my "husband" doesn't want that with me then I need to move on and find someone who does want it and who can make me happy.
My question is. How can I get my parents to understand that I'm "ok" with what is happening and that I just want to move on and put this all in the past? Please help.

Answer Question
 
jenlou9686

Asked by jenlou9686 at 9:21 AM on Jun. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 10 (445 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Tell them that.
    momov4kids

    Answer by momov4kids at 9:23 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Tell them that you have had several months to come to terms with this and that you are ready to move on. I don't understand why people expect us to act certain ways when we go through this sort of emotional trauma. I am happy that you are ready to move on.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 9:26 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I would sit them down and explain that you are confused as to why they seem to want you to be miserable over this. He's been away over seas so that kinda buffered anything emotionally. I would explain that all the time apart helped you came more into your own and will help you deal without him. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but I'm glad to see a woman stay strong and be ok with change. People cahnge and grow apart, unfortunately the change isn't always a positive thing now but who knows, maybe you will meet the right person for you and be even happier than you were with your current hubby. Good luck and try to explain how this will be easier for you with your parents on YOUR side not ragging on you for not being upset. You could even say thanks ma & pa for making me soo strong that I can cope with this withput falling to a million pieces.
    dnmc1985

    Answer by dnmc1985 at 9:31 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Actions speak louder than words. Show them you're over it.
    EgoTryptophan

    Answer by EgoTryptophan at 9:33 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • you probably can't get them to understand.
    I think you are doing what's best. If your husband wants to move on then and so do you, then that's what you should do.

    Do what you can to deal with your parents. if they are anything like mine, they probably still look at you as being their little kid, and think that they know what's best.

    They may think that you are in denial and not really OK with it all. But as you pointed out, you've had a while to deal with this, so you're probably in a different place than they assume you are.
    Either way, I hope it all goes well for you, and that you make a good life.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 9:44 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • They are your parents. They worry that you are hurting. It's normal. Just live your life as though you are ok (if you are) and they will catch on. It wouldn't hurt to just tell them that you are disappointed but not devastated and that you think the right guy is out there so you won't be wasting time grieving over a man who no longer appreciates you. They just want to hear honest feelings from you so they know you are not suffering.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:16 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • That's great you are taking it so well! It's like you've had a year to fall out of love with him. It sounds like they are just sad for you and don't know what to do with their own feelings. It's not fair for them to put that on you. Tell them that you're really ok and are ready to start a new chapter in your life! GL!!!!
    CollinsMommy729

    Answer by CollinsMommy729 at 10:52 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Everyone handles things differently. Parents are there to comfort and guide u. If they haven't been thru it themselves then they don't know how to deal with it. U sound like u are right where u need to be. Just let them know they have raised u well and can voice bak from emotional distress. U are a strong woman, keep ur head up cuz that's where it all is.
    startingover777

    Answer by startingover777 at 12:25 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • just plain out and tell them. he choose what he choose and that's that. and that you are okay with it now and are not going to dwell on it anymore. why should you? there isn't anything you can do even if you wanted to. move on and enjoy the single life as i say. good luck to you.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 2:25 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • i would just try and sit them down and have a long talk and explain to them that everyone deals with thing differently,good luck.
    houndlover

    Answer by houndlover at 2:25 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

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