Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My 7 yr old son doesn't want me at school functions:(

My son just turned 7. He has had a couple of field trips that I have wanted to chaperone. But he has begged me not to. The reason he gives is that it would make him feel like a baby to have me there. I know he's having some problems at school with one little girl who was in love with him and now won't speak to him. And I know he doesn't like recess for various reasons. I have no idea of these things are related to him not wanting me around. We adopted my son when he was a baby and he just saw Kung Fu Panda 2 which is about Po realizing his dad isn't his bio father. This has really rocked his little world and brought up issues he wasn't ready for. Again, I have no idea if this has anything to do with him not wanting me around. It feels to me like there is more to him not wanting me at his school functions but I could be over thinking it. Do some boys pull away from their moms at age 7 for normal and healthy reasons?

Answer Question

Asked by gabeandemma at 9:41 AM on Jun. 7, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • It may be a little of a couple things school, his age, being adopted, but don't beat yourself up. You are doing the best you can. I think that is the age they do start to pull away a little for healthy reasons anyway. As long as nothing traumatic is going on at school, try and look at this as a milestone.  I know its bittersweet when they no longer think we're "cool" and no longer want us around.  I also know that when our kids are confident enough to want to be independent means we're doing a good job.  So good work mama!  Hope everything turns out fine.GL


    Answer by Genice6 at 10:05 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • He may be at the stage when independence is playing a role.

    Since you're concerned, talk to his teacher to make sure everything is okay at school or talk to him and let him know that if anything is bothering him, he can always come to you.

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 10:14 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I've got a seven year old niece who has to remind me that sometimes I treat her like a baby. I think she has a point. The other day we were at dinner and I asked her if she wanted some noodles or something and I was about to put it on her plate. She had to remind me that she 'can do it herself'
    It was nothing personal towards her, that's what I usually do if someone is sitting near me and I have the bowl in my hand. I just scoop some for them.
    I think that you may be over thinking it. I doubt if his wanting to be independent at these functions has much to do with his being adopted.
    When I was a kid my mother was ALWAYS at the school. I remember going to a bakery and everyone had their bread packages with them when we went to the room, happily tasting them while I sat there empty handed.
    against my wishes, my mom took mine with her to keep it safe.
    maybe you can help in other ways. he's just growing up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I remember my now 11 year old going through this stage. It will pass and it sounds like you are doing everything you can.

    Answer by Madelaine at 10:38 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • boys go through this earlier than girls, I think. My son was a little older but all kids are different.

    Answer by elasmimi at 10:41 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • My son is 7 and has been the same way. It breaks my heart but it's just a phase.

    Answer by KamiB79 at 10:58 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I would speak to their teacher and maybe see if the schools physiologist can talk to him and see if he will open up to her.

    Answer by AllThatBabyJazz at 11:11 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I think it sounds like the normal wanting to be independent.

    Answer by ceciliam at 11:31 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • sometimes kids realize that their parents are embarassing before they are teenagers. I think that maybe there is more going on with your son. I think that maybe you should take him to a counsler. Are you sure that he's not worried that you're not going to want him to, just like his birth parents? So he's making space to protect himself. It sucks if he's building walls already. Good luck!

    Answer by money4fun at 12:19 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • You might try talking to his teacher and finding out if there's something going on that would make him not want you there.

    Answer by SherriPie at 1:41 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.