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3 Bumps

Need to scream, need to cry, need to vent! (long)

I'm sorry, I have to vent, this is killing me! To be as brief as possibleMy son is in kindergarten, they are going on their last trip today to the Please touch museum in Philly. I was supposed to be a chaperone, I have NEVER missed a trip since he started pre-school til now. Well I have a 1 yr old as well, the museum is for him too. I realized i couldn't take him on the bus with us, so i was having my aunt bring him and meet us there . We are supposed to split up and go on our own with 3 kids each so i figured it wouldnt matter. Well, my aunt couldn't go, i had no sitter, I wrote the teacher and told her my situation and offered to do what i could or even follow the bus and still chaperone (baby cant ride on the bus) she said it was fine and all taken care of someone else was gonna take my kids. So i was sad, i wanted to go and he wanted me to go. I decided i could still go with my baby just go as a regular paying adult not with the school. I wrote her and told her my plan, and asked if my son could be in the group with the parent i know so i could call her and meet up with her to take a few pictures of my son on his last trip. Well.. she called me this morning and statrted YELLING at me so indignantly telling me she cant stop me from going but if i went she is telling the principle i am breaking the "rules" and telling me she won't switch his group for me and freaking out. I wa FLOORED! I looked up to her, respected her, she was my music teacher at the same school when i went there! I loved her! I could not believe my ears. After it sunk in that i was being yelled at, i freaked out and told her off then hung up on her and called her principle! I am so sad, i wanted to be on this trip! How dare she! Has anyone else ran into such ignorant teachers? We had such a great relationship I helped in class, went on trips, donated a lot of things to her class and then this!? Really? , i will never speak to her again! Sorry, just had to get this out, it ruined my day not to mentioned my son was crushed i wasn't going!

Answer Question

Asked by JenzAmomOf2 at 11:15 AM on Jun. 7, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 17 (3,814 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • Sorry about that. Sounds like things were great before this. Maybe try talking after things die down? Good luck!!!

    Answer by RelaxedMom2-3 at 11:18 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Put yourself in her shoes for a momaent. Can you imagine the stress of getting this trip pulled together? Can you imagine the stress of getting through the day? Now she has a mother who is kind of making her day harder. Step back, breathe, and move on from this.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 11:21 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • That's really too bad. Did the principal say anything to help you out. There is 1 thing I know working for the schools just because teachers have a degree doesn't mean they are all that great teachers yell at your kids to.
    I would maybe after all this has settled down talk to her and ask her why she did that to you. Good Luck!

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 11:22 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • It's really hard to form an objective opinion over one-half the story told on the internet. From the teacher's perspective, here's this mom who has been 'told' that she can't attend because no tag-alongs are allowed per policy and yet she's still trying to figure out how to circumvent the rules and do her own thing. I would imagine it's frustrating. "Yelling" may not have been appropriate (did she really yell like raised voice or was it more expressing her distaste and disapproval over the situation with a short tone of voice?)

    As a Girl Scout leader and a youth group leader I've had to deal with parents that don't think the group rules and policies apply to them - or at least that they can find a way to circumvent by tweaking things a little. It makes it difficult for the kids and other adults. Imagine if every other parent that couldn't chaperon that day did the same? It's a time and security complication.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 11:36 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • She should not have handled it that poorly, but you were out of line. You can't chaperone a FT and have your infant there with you. You need to be 100% accessible to those kids you are there to HELP watch - for safety reasons. You should have called, and not sent in a bunch of notes changing the plans all the time. She didn't handle it right, but you put her in that position in the first place. You don't need to be on every FT, give other parents a chance to help as well. It's very healthy for your child to do things apart from you sometimes. You couldn't get a sitter, you couldn't go... no bigggie, we all deal with that at one time or another. Sorry.


    Answer by Crafty26 at 11:36 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I understand your frustration although if you couldn't be a chaperon without having your other child there then you need to understand that the school has to get someone else. She can't really stop you from going to the museum although she doesn't have to make special accommodations for you. Not to mention that she probably has 20 students that she has to deal with and that many parents. You have no idea how many other parents were telling her the same thing and maybe she was frustrated. I am not saying she was right to yell at you although sometimes I think we forget that while our children are the most important things to us teachers have 20 students that are important to them. I agree with Crafty26 you couldn't go no biggie and as they get older there are a lot of trips you won't be able to go on because you can't go on all of them, there are other parents that want to go as well.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 11:50 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I appreciate the comments, I do want to clear up that she WANTED ME to go, she didn't want any other parent because i am familiar with the kids. She has 48 kids, and eery mom has 3 kids, she wasn't THAT STRESSED, she does this every year so it's not new to her. I wasn't trying to find my way around "her rules" I was trying to offer help any way i could since my sitter backed out last minute. (not her fault it was my grandma and she needed a doctor!) I respected that i couldn't bring my child while chaperoning but going on my own? Really? Just unprofessional and unfair, she is a big bully!

    Comment by JenzAmomOf2 (original poster) at 11:56 AM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Did you take a picture of your child before they left the field trip? I understand juggling kids and time schudules? They are tough. But did you stop to think that maybe there was a reason that things didn't work out? You got to spend one on time with one child while the other got to grow on his own for a day. You can't always be with them 24 hours. They need their time too whether we want them to or not. When your child got home were they excited to tell you what they did? When my kids were small and they couldn't write. I made them journals and i would write in them for them. I would write down everything they told me about their day. It was fun for both of us. I also relized that they starting to show their personalities and interests. By not always getting to go on field trips i recoginzed this. If i had always gotten to go i may have missed some the best stories that i had to write for them. sorry!

    Answer by money4fun at 12:08 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I'm sorry you are so upset- really, i am- and i think the teacher should of handled this in a different way but, you were also way out of line by trying to change the rules & asking quite alot out of her for this Field Trip- She was probably under alot of pressure this morning getting everyone ready for the trip- Even Teachers have a Breaking- Point sometimes.. I feel when you make a commitment to be a Chaperon; your undivided attention should be on those kids- bringing siblings can sometimes get in the way of meeting all of their needs- that is why they discourage you from bringing them- i am sure the teacher feels bad about what happened this morning- maybe, you are taking it a step to far & you were both in the wrong.. i bet your son is having a Great Time- he will be fine- Wishing you lots of luck!


    Answer by daisyb at 12:11 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I was not asking her to break the rules, I only offered to bring him with me and follow the bus when i did not have a sitter, i was trying not to leave her stranded with one less chaperone so i offered to bring my little one with me. Thank you for all your comments.

    Comment by JenzAmomOf2 (original poster) at 1:00 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

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