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3 Bumps

Can it be taken too far???

Every time I talk to my parents over the phone, their always going to Church like constantly at least a few days a week..... I ask if they wanted to keep our daughter a night or two this weekend, so me and hubby could get a break the first time I've asked in 2 or 3months. Guess what? NOPE! They have a revival coming up at church this weekend. The days my dad has off from work, it's church... The weekends it's church.... My dad had a week off for vacation it's church... My Dad has Tuesdays off always, guess what? It's their church night, so they can't come over to see us! I'm done... I can't take it anymore!!!! I drive an hour & half to see them twice a month and they can't even come and see me... I understand going to church, but they can't even give us 1 day out of the week for us... Do you think some people can take being religious too far? I do and I'm experiencing it. I have God in my heart and I pray everyday! I don't go to church but ALOT of that has to do with me being forced to go to church by my parents until I 16. No wonder I don't have the best relationship with my parents, everything is black and white to them. I try to have a conversation with my mom and it's humm, yeah, huh, well, yep, I can't even have a conversation with my mom when it comes to small talk much less when I need support. I think I'm just done! Sorry I just needed to vent, I'm having a really hard time with it all and it's been going on for a long time.

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mszh2010

Asked by mszh2010 at 1:11 PM on Jun. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (-1 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Can't they take the kiddos to church with them? My mom does when she does go to church on the weekend the RARE times she watches my kiddos
    djavongirl

    Answer by djavongirl at 1:13 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I agree it can be taken too far. Maybe suggest they take the baby with them? If they refuse then tell them they can see your daughter when you think its time until then, they need to get their life straight because they are missing out on her life.
    MommaWoods

    Answer by MommaWoods at 1:15 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • We all have a different set of priorities.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 1:25 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I am a Catholic and I love going to church. I attend Sunday Mass, I teach Faith Formation after mass, and I attend on Holy days of Obligation. With that said, I would like to think that it is enough to do so…now if you want to go to church more, than that’s fine, but one should not neglect his or her family. You are supposed to have a relationship with God 24/7, but not go to church 24/7, especially if it becomes a problem with the family. I think there is much going on there in your situation. If you can’t even make small conversation with them then it sounds like there is another problem IMHO, such as some type of barrier between you and them. Maybe it goes deeper than the church. Have you told them how their over-involvement with the church makes you feel? I follow one rule of the Bible: a man who can’t keep his house in order, can’t be a good spiritual leader. Try to talk to them, maybe one on one.
    Tamara0383

    Answer by Tamara0383 at 1:26 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I honestly think for some people that it becomes sort of an addiction or an obsession. I say that because for some people their dedication to their religion seems to interfere with their ability to live a normal life and maintain normal relationships. If a person spent all of their spare time exercising, and could not spend time with family, and spent their whole vacation exercising, I think most people would start to worry about that person. I don't see how overdoing it at church is much different. I wish I had any advice to give you but I really don't. But I totally understand why you are frustrated. There's nothing wrong with being a devoted Christian (or Jew, Muslim, whatever) but there does come a point where devotion seems to have been taken overboard.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:28 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I agree with meooma, it sounds like there are other barriers and underlying issues going on. Why can't you and your husband hire a babysitter? There is nothing wrong with your parents going to church as much as they do. Are you their only child? If so, their job is done. They don't owe you anything else, Let them Serve the Lord and go worship at their church as much and as often as they like. It sounds like you are a bit jealous. Remember God is a jealous God and he would not appreciate your parents putting your wants before his.
    ladysea8

    Answer by ladysea8 at 1:47 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • you sure they are going to church and not just dodging watching your daughter? i mean that's alot of church, what can you possible do that much at church. i mean when i was growing up my dad made us go to church and i hated it because it was 40 minutes long and for your parents to do this several times a week and weekends, wow that's alot. well just find a sitter from now on when you and your husband want to go out and don't bother calling your parents anymore, let them call you. if church is their priority so be it.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 2:18 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • yeah they have takin church to far like u said u have god n ur heart that all god really cares about is that hes n ur heart and that u talk to him by praying often
    eyrich_baby012

    Answer by eyrich_baby012 at 4:01 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • ladysea8 - I think you took my post wrong..... The point of my post is you can go to Church and be Religous BUT their is family time too. I am the only child, but they doesn't have ANYTHING to do with their relationship with their granddaughter. They can't take a day out to come see their granddaughter then they won't be seeing her, it's unfair to me to make the long trip and them not do anything at all to come see her. It just depends how dedicated you are to your family, if my daughter needed me I wouldn't think twice about it. You don't have to go to church 24/7 to be religious.
    mszh2010

    Comment by mszh2010 (original poster) at 4:16 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • You can't talk to my mom about anything she's bi-polar and walks off if you try to have a one on one conversation with her but she is medicated. We've had ALOT of issues in the past, my parents fought all the time when I was growing up and once my dad beat my mom bad when I was 10. I always stayed with my grandmother when the fights got too bad, she's all I had when it came to helping me and being there for me. My grandmother and aunt done more for me than either one of my parents, I guess that's why we don't have a good relationship. Me and my parents are completely different people and we don't have any of the same interests in anything other than my daughter. They don't fought like that anymore or I wouldn't let my daughter be around them.
    mszh2010

    Comment by mszh2010 (original poster) at 4:28 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

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