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4 Bumps

Am I wrong to have stepped in and protect my 6 yr old from this 52 yr old moron? Or do some men just play with kids this way and it is all in fun

I was at my sister's the other day, my daughter had dropped me and my 6 yr old son off and she took my car to go to a ball game. my bil had a buddy over and this guy is obnoxious to begin with but when he got a blue marker and chased my son around giving him blue dots everywhere I told him to stop it and my son thought it was fun to try to dodge this marker. I saw it as stupid and then the guy would poke me with the marker and mark me up when I told him that I had enough and I wanted the marker. The guy is laughing at me and my son is confused. I ended up walking away taking my son to the bathroom and washing him up and going outside for a walk. When we got back nobody would talk or look at me or my son. I was treated like I was to blame, like I killed the "fun". I saw it as immature behavior and even more so when the guy and my bil and sister acted like I was the one acting poorly.

Was I wrong to be upset? should I have just allowed my son to be chased and poked with a marker by an adult that is in his 50's?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Jun. 7, 2011 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • I would have been annoyed. I am not fond of adults who act like kids, and, frankly, I don't trust them.

    They do not set a good example.

    I would be avoiding having my child around an unruly adult like that.


    Something weird has happened this generation where peoplke feel it is justfied for an adult to not behave like an adult. It is not.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 3:17 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I really don't think he meant any harm. With that said I do believe that if you asked him to stop he should have stopped even if you where putting a damper on things. It is your call you are his mom.
    sipn_mom

    Answer by sipn_mom at 3:24 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I don't really see the harm in what he was doing, however, when you said it was time to stop, he should have respected that.
    makelineerror

    Answer by makelineerror at 3:37 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • "I would have been annoyed. I am not fond of adults who act like kids, and, frankly, I don't trust them.


    They do not set a good example"


     I agree. I'll probably get some thumbs down right there with you, but i don't care. This is a 'debate' forum:)


     "when mom says stop that means stop. If that man can't respect your responsibility for the welfare of your child than he shouldn't be allowed near him. Instead he and everyone else there completely undermined your authority with your son. Not cool."


    Also agree. Doesn't matter how you viewed it, you said stop, and that should have been that.

    boobarandbell

    Answer by boobarandbell at 4:13 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Well, as others have said, if you said stop the right thing would have been for this individual to stop even if he didn't agree.

    That said, when my two were toddlers and preschoolers we had those washable Crayola stampers - they looked like markers only instead of being a 'point' on the end they were various shape stamps. Stars. Smile faces, etc. There were plenty of afternoons we'd all get goofy and stamp each other up. We also chased each other with stickers.

    How does one play with young kids if not like a young kid? How does one interact in a fun and playful way if you're too busy being 'grown-up?' Kids need authority figures, absolutely, but they also need the big person who is willing to stomp in mud puddles and be a little goofy with them from time to time. I wouldn't make the automatic leap to pedophile or being 'untrustworthy.'
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 4:23 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • What does "an attempt to groom" mean? I am lost.

    She's making the rather ignorant leap that by playing with the kid he must be a pedophile. As for the OP, it's a good thing you didn't marry into our family, you'd be miserable. Adults playing with the kids every chance they can because they appreciate how little time they really have with them.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 4:03 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • In my book, it is much different when a parent or very close relative plays with a child. When it is some 50 year old man that is friends with a BIL ignores the mom's requests to stop teasing her son, it becomes a much different picture.

    We have a 30 year old "uncle" in my family who thinks it is funny to wrestle around on the ground with the pre-teen girls of the family. He ignores the adults and "plays" with the pre-teen girls. That is also innapropriate. And, I do not allow that to occur in my household or with my children.

    There are plenty of ways of playing with children that do not entail invading their personal space and ignoring the boundaries set by the mother.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 4:31 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • so long as your kid wasnt trying to get away or telling him to stop then you over-reacted...but the second you told him to stop he should have. and he never should have marked you with it...i would have punched him.

    you killed the fun, but he & your family re-acted like a-holes by being all moody. but they were probably unsure about how to play w/ your son in a way you would "approve".
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 5:23 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • It was harmless fun, but when mom says stop that means stop. If that man can't respect your responsibility for the welfare of your child than he shouldn't be allowed near him. Instead he and everyone else there completely undermined your authority with your son. Not cool.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 3:53 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • No you werent wrong. Your mama instincts kicked in and I woulda done the same thing.
    MissyNewMama

    Answer by MissyNewMama at 8:49 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

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