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4 Bumps

Furious!!!!! (This is just a vent)

Ok, look, I know people have plans. I know that some people cannot always attend things like birthday parties. HOWEVER, maybe this is just me, but when I know that a birthday is on it's way, I tend to at least try to keep my schedule open. Especially if it's a FIRST birthday. My son is turning 1 this friday, we are having the party on Sunday. Today was the last day to rsvp. So far, over half of the people have not even responded (mind you, this is an all family party). My brother just called about an hour ago to say he has to work and he can't make it. Ok? So what about your wife and your daughter? You know, my SIL and my niece. Last I checked, my SIL knew how to drive. Oh, that's right, she needs to be up my brother's ass constantly. That's probably part of the reason why there's drama with my parents! Oh how convenient. And what about my aunt, who acts as if she's the grandmother to my niece? What, she can't pick up a phone either? I don't even know why I fucking care, these people have shown little to no interest in my son. I realize that my grandfather died 4 days after he was born and that took some attention away from him, and I realize that my family is apparently a bunch of money hungry deviants who have been divided over a stupid estate, but my sweet, baby boy does not deserve to be treated like he doesn't exist! But I guess money is more important than quality time and the simple joys of babies. Where was my time to mourn my grandfather, who I was super close to, huh? I was raising an infant, I had to stay strong. And no one ever bothers to pick up a fucking phone and see how we're doing. No no, it's emails. The most impersonal way to keep in touch with your family who only live an hour away, and only 5-10 minutes from my job. Which 80% or more of the emails were all concerning estate matters and who should get what. It made me sick . I hope they're happy with themselves and their riches. He is going to have a great first birthday with people that actually care and he's going to love the homemade cake mommy makes him and they're going to miss it! All the money in the world couldn't replace this moment.

Answer Question
 
DJsMommy610

Asked by DJsMommy610 at 4:06 PM on Jun. 7, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 18 (5,935 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • The first birthday party is for the mom, the kid will not remember it.

    It does suck that your family doesn't put you first, but solder on and know that you gave him a great party without them.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 4:10 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Sorry to hear about family drama Mama! Keep your head up and remember the important things! LIke you said he's going to have a great day with people who really love/care about him :)! Don't worry about jerks that are too concerned with money to even act like they care...they aren't worth the stress if they are being that way!! HUGS!!
    MommyYeoman

    Answer by MommyYeoman at 4:10 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • OH and Happy birthday lil man! :)
    MommyYeoman

    Answer by MommyYeoman at 4:11 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • hugsI would come to his birthday. I hope he has a great day and i am sure he will.

    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 4:17 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Sweetie, I'm sorry that you are upset and it must really stink to be in your situation. But I see more letters on here from people who are cut off from the children in their families because they didn't attend a birthday party.
    I know that to you this is the ultimate moment, but I don't think that it's best to start a family war over it. I think you would just regret it later.

    The way you've described so many of the relatives that won't be attending, it sounds like maybe you'd have more fun on the special with those that are there.

    Just because not everyone can make it, or are not as excited as you are over this 1st birthday does not make them unforgivable ogres.
    Your child won't remember this birthday. if you carry resentment with you for those that aren't attending, he'll sense it and remember it.
    Please do all you can to have fun and not get upset. Don't make this your son's problem.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Anon, I get what you're saying. Understand though, this is an ongoing thing with them, so this is just the icing on the cake (no pun intended). I'm not going to cut them out of his life, im just mad, but they've made it clear that he is nothing but convenience for them. Come the party, I will be all smiles and my focus will be solely on him. It upsets me only because it's only in the past few years that i've seen their true colors. It hurts, but I'm not letting it ruin the day either. Thanks though, and everyone else for your kind words :) I've been stressed out so this is just another obstacle I have to overcome. I don't plan to cut them out, they tend to do that on their own, so that's on their shoulders.
    DJsMommy610

    Comment by DJsMommy610 (original poster) at 4:29 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Don't let them get to you... the people that really care for him and love him WILL be there... and they are really the only people that matter in his life. Everyone else... pfft... not worth the energy to get upset about. Besides, the first several birthdays are better if they are small and personal... young children can easily be overwhelmed by too many people... causing a tired and cranky child.
    Also keep in mind that sometimes people can't just move their lives around to attend a birthday... I rarely am able to see my niece and nephew on their birthday... we just try to do something special with the at another time... it doesn't mean we don't care, it's just too difficult sometimes.
    AmiJanell

    Answer by AmiJanell at 4:54 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Gotcha.
    Like I said, I see stuff like this all the time and I was afraid that you meant it would turn into a big tense thing in the family over one birthday party.
    If they are not treasuring him then that is very sad, and will be their loss in the future.

    Just do all you can to not let it get to you. Family members don't have to be the end all be all.
    I hope he has a wonderful 1st birthday!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Aww Happy birthday little man! Dont let the family stuff bother you, my FIL sent my DH a text saying tell Aiden Happy Birthday. lol no phone call or anything, but i would have been happy with less than that lol, so it could be a blessing hon!
    kgrine

    Answer by kgrine at 9:11 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • right u a great mom
    sassy21176

    Answer by sassy21176 at 8:24 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

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