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Hardest Rules?

What is the hardest part about making rules your children will follow? For example, is it hard to tell if the punishment is too harsh?

Also, are you a mom, stepmom, adoptive mom, or gaurdian?
Thanks!

Answer Question
 
mamajojo024

Asked by mamajojo024 at 7:10 PM on Jun. 7, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 5 (75 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Does it matter? A mom is a mom,it does not matter how we became moms! The point is it does not matter!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 7:12 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Thank you dancer...
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 7:19 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • The hardest thing about making rules is when other parents dont hold to the same moral basis. It is hard to be one of the ONLY parents doing that is RIGHT.

    Example... this is what we are dealing with now.... I have a 16 yr old and the law in CA says that a child must have their license for a WHOLE year before they are allowed to drive other kids in their car. I am finding that I am one of the very few parents who actually follow the law. So when it is a weekend and all the kids are piling into the car of a child who has ONLY had their license a few months, weeks sometimes, I have to tell my child no. I drive her to the event but she is one of the only kids whoes mom drives her. And I now have no carpools because the other parents ignore the law.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • thank you anonymous! I only asked what kind of mom you were because i am doing a poll for my college class.. Thanks
    mamajojo024

    Comment by mamajojo024 (original poster) at 7:24 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • The hardest part of making rules is following through with the consequences every single time. No climbing on the coffee table just doesn't seem that important if your kids have been beating the crap out of each other all day.
    Hazelnutkin

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 7:32 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • oh... Im bio mom.


    I DO think it makes a difference what kind of mom you are.  Parenting IS a challenge even when you are in an intact home, had the child AFTER you were married, with a stable income, and all things good..... throw in a divorce, no marriage at all, adoptions (not all but some with sad pasts), etc and it makes parenting SO much harder.  I think it is a valid question.


    Of course there are Soooooo many variations that one step situation is NOT like another... same for adoptions.... same for guardianships.... same for intact homes.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I also agree with hazelnutkin... follow through is challenging. But if you dont then you may loose more than you realize.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I make rules that make sense. The punishment always fits the crime. I am a previous stepmom (I adopted him,) I am a guardian and a bio-mom. If you give kids consistency and follow through then you won't have a problem.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:57 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I'm mom, and for me the hardest part is determining the motivation behind the issue. For me that makes a huge difference in how I discipline. Something done out of anger or intentional disobedience needs to be handled differently then something done out of carelessness. Discipline is guiding them through their issues so that they can make responsible choices. I don't think that you effectively discipline an issue if you simply "punish" for the action... there is a reason we do things, the core motivation/emotion is what needs to be discipline, guided, and molded.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 1:48 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • for me it the harded rule in my house is if you do something wrong there will be concquinces wow spelled that wrong lol. Anyways... I hate having to be the bad guy that says well u did this so now u cant do this... specially if it is something they are really wanting to do. I know it has to be done but I still hate doing it. But I will say this. I am both a mother and a strp mother and the one thing I have never done was given different rules to different kids based on if they were mine or my husbands.
    sweetsone

    Answer by sweetsone at 11:19 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

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