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I had an affair in my first marriage and swore I would never do anything like that again. Now Im married again (5 yrs) and we have been together 7 yrs and I have that feeling of wanting someone else just for a night. I know its wrong and I hate to even write it but is there a reason I'm having these awful feelings or a way to get my mind off of it? Please dont be mean or rude, Im just looking for some advice. Thanks mamas!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 7:37 PM on Jun. 7, 2011 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • Why do you feel like you need someone else? even if it's just for a night? Do you feel like there is something missing in your marriage? If that's the case you should first really look into yourself and try to figure out what's going on with you that you want to be with someone else, what is it that your not satisfied with then sit your husband down and let him know the areas of your marriage your not satisfied with and try to work it out..being with someone else is not going to fix or help anything...good luck

    Answer by Lucky209 at 7:41 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Marriage takes work and dedication. You may not be able to control your feelings and thoughts but you can control your decisions.

    Answer by liv4myboys at 7:47 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Maybe you should try to spice up your sex life. Try some role play or toys or if you have toys try some new toys. Or maybe try having sex in a new place. Or you could try getting a sitter and renting a room for more romance or if its a fling you want rent a cheap motel room and make it seem like your doing something you shouldnt. You dont exactly have to tell hubby that you feel you want to be with someone else for a night but that you want to role play. If all else falls maybe you seek out counsling to figure out what the real problem is and why you feel this way.

    Answer by SMG1120 at 7:54 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Biologically, yes, there is a reason for this. I am not going to go into a long, drawn out expl. but basically, our biological calendar is set to "move on" after the children are old enough to join us in hunting and foraging, this is the evolutionary way of making sure that we mate with and pass on as many positive genes as possible to our off-spring, thus insuring that positive traits are passed on to future generations. The seven year each is not a myth (although for some it is the four year itch or the five year itch.) Humans are only monogamous because we have decided to be and have the will power to carry it through.

    Like others said, spice it up a bit, keep it fresh, make it fun and you will eventually fall back into that sexual pattern of desire with your husband, that is the great thing about this, it does pass! In the mean time it just stinks though, I know, I am there too.

    Answer by chaslee at 8:02 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Isn't there a group called wives that have cheated? that might be a place for you to work out those feelings.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 7:40 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • sounds like maybe a need to be someone else for a night
    i you are craving only one night
    maybe do a role play with husband
    one night of even best sex ever is not worth risking your marriage
    unless you deep down want your marriage to end


    Answer by fiatpax at 7:46 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Sorry, seven year itch, not each.


    Answer by chaslee at 8:03 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • You are at a stage where you need to feel wanted I go through this sometimes I flirt and it satisfies me I don't act on it cz I have a good marriage

    Answer by rinamomof2 at 7:27 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

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