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Am i being too harsh?

I usually get up & stop playing with (4.5yo) DD when she KNOWS she has done something wrong.... Like if she bites/pinches its automatically I get up & leave the room...
And if she is doing other smaller things, I give her 1-2 warnings first before stop playing.

For example we where just playing in her Highlights book. We where sappose to be taking turns drawing string from the kite flier to the kite... Well she was not happy that it was my turn (and she realized I would get more "kite turns" than her) so she decided to put her head in my way. The first time I ask her to move (she didnt know she was in my way) so then she made sure she was in my head. I ask her to move again. Nothing... So I closed the book & put my crayon away.

Am I being to harsh? Or is this OK & reasonable to teach her sharing & that others wont want to keep playing with her when she is not nice?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on Jun. 7, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • No, I don't think so. I do this with my son sometimes because this is the reaction he would get from other kids. If you don't play fairly, people won't want to play with you.


    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 9:07 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • If your child is 4.5 and still pinching and biting I think you need to do more than just leave the room....

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:30 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I think its ok. Like showing her that if she can't be nice then nobody has to put up with it. I think it will show her that if she wants to play with other people then she has to consider their feelings too.

    Answer by ThatBoysMom at 8:30 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Sounds reasonable to me, but it's very important you understand her motives and that being selfish is pretty normal when you're 4.5 years old. Sharing and self-less behaviour is learned gradually and the way it is learned is through kindness, not punishment. When she sees you share, or see you happy that she shares, that's where the lesson is driven home, not when you deprive her of the game, know what I mean?

    Answer by judimary at 8:30 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I think its ok as long as your explaining why your stopping and what she needs to for you to play again etc. So she understands what behavior is expected of her and the consequence if she doesnt listen etc.


    Answer by Princess_s21 at 8:31 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I don't think you're being harsh at all. I do think it's important to have a chance to explain that her behavior is inappropriate. Personally, I would do more than walk away, but I think it's good you're doing something. I totally disagree with anyone who says give her a break because of her age. My son is not yet 2 and I believe he is fully capable of learning not to bite or hit, and he can begin to learn to share and things like that. Good luck!

    Answer by Adelicious at 9:46 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I can see with the hurting people, as for the other thing, she's not even 5 yet. I didn't even enforce rules like turns so young.
    It sounds to me that she was sharing with you by letting you draw in the book. that's ok for that age isn't it?
    sounds like a little too much pressure to me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • When my DS gets upset that he isn't winning or things aren't going his way, I also stop playing whatever game we are playing. I tell him that as soon as he calms down then we can resume the game. He has big issues with always wanting to be the winner so I have to keep reminding him that there isn't just one person that only wins, everyone usually gets a turn at winning.

    Answer by HistoryPixie at 8:35 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • You are fine. Showing them young about taking turns is important. Otherwise teaching them that skill later is harder for them and for you. Yes, she is young, yes this is normal, but it doesn't excuse the behavior.

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:07 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • Anon#1..That was the best example I could come up with at the moment. She 99% of the time doesnt bite.
    I always explain why I am leaving... and after a while I will play with her again.. but she has to be playing solo & calm (after calming she is good at redirecting herself..
    Ive also at times ask her what she thinks she did wrong. Or to sit on her bed & think about why it was wrong & we talk about it after.

    Thanks Ladies! :-)

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:21 PM on Jun. 7, 2011