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2 Bumps

Would you expect someone that just miscarried to go to your baby shower?

My friend is due in August and I already gave her a ton of stuff. I told her it's no offense but I am just dealing with this and my mind is a mess so I won't be there. This is her first pregnancy so she wants me to go. I'm tired of explaining this to her. She just doesn't quite get it. This is the second that I lost and I'm so confused and hurt right now. I can't even walk by baby stuff in the stores. I'm trying to be nice to her about it. I'm getting tired of the nagging and am afraid of snapping on her.


Asked by ThatBoysMom at 9:32 PM on Jun. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,674 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • Your friend isn't really thinking straight. If she guilts you into going then what happens when you have a rotten time and everyone else doesn't have a good time because you are upset? Then she blames you for ruining her baby shower. She needs to understand that you are going through a rough time. You aren't trying to ruin her pregnancy or rain on her parade. She should understand that.

    Answer by VegasJellyFish at 10:20 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • She can't get it unless she's been there, you've done enough explaining, you have said you won't be there. Enough is enough! You really don't need any reason not to be there, you have RSVP'd and that was all that etiquette required of you.

    Sorry about what you are going through, and sorry that your insensitive friend is making it harder for you. Hopefully, when she's not pregnant, she will see things a little more clearly.

    Take good care of youself, and don't worry so much about her!

    feel better


    Answer by dwmom2008 at 9:35 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • no, I would not expect you to go

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:33 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • It is rather insenstive of her to keep on about it. Next time she brings it up I would probably say something like "can you appreciate, even a little bit, what I am going through? You are still happy and content with your child and mine is not. The LAST place I need to be is a baby shower right now" If she doesn't get that..time to back away.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:36 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I think you have every right to skip it. You need to heal and a baby shower isn't going to help. If you've already explained it, and she is nagging you, perhaps it'd be best to stop communication for a while until she can be more sensitive to your feelings. I'm so sorry and good luck. I know how hard miscarriages are.

    Answer by cdecker83 at 9:36 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • I would miss you a lot and wish you would come but I would not be mad at you, I would try to be understanding.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 9:36 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • No, I wouldn't expect you to go. Maybe you should have another friend intervene and try to get through to your insensitive, pregnant friend.

    I am so very sorry for your losses.

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 9:58 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • No I wouldn't expect them to go. That is a very hard situation. You've already tried talking to her about it. Don't go and if she gets mad oh well. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope things turn around for you.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 9:37 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • No I wouldnt expect you to go. Maybe you can suggest you and her go out for lunch a few weeks from now and that you are still very happy for her but the pain of being at a shower is just not something you could deal with right now.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 9:37 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • your friend should try to understand how difficult this would be for you. Of course you shouldn't go if you dont feel comfortable. Take care of yourself. Good luck to you!

    Answer by bloomsr at 9:37 PM on Jun. 7, 2011