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My almost three year old sons behavior

We recently had a lot of changes, move, new daycare...where I work. Well he has recently started this screaming and screeching fits lasting more than a half hour. It all boils down to what he wants control of. I am more concerned with these long tantrums.more than ten minutes is out of control. That's even ignoring him. My husband is military and here then gone....adding to the problem, but nothing new for my sons entire life. We know dads absence is affecting him. But at times I want to lick him. I really have to restrain myself. My blood boils. I hate that he acts like this.sometimes its even in middle of night. Or right when he wakes. I cry out of frustration.i also have a 19 month old withering this and being subject to him screaming and hitting. Is this normal or extreme?

 
2BlondeBabies

Asked by 2BlondeBabies at 10:15 PM on Jun. 7, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (2)
  • Some screaming at this age is VERY normal, but when it's totally out of control you need to put a stop to it. I believe in gentle parenting, try to understand the behaviour, and attack the cause rather than punishing the screaming even though obvously the screaming is nervewracking (I know, like nails on a chalkboard). My daughter is the same age (3 in September) and it's an age where they do experience a lot of frustrations. They are frustrated by a lack of control of their life, by an inability to communicate as eloquently as they want, and they are even afraid of their own overwhelming emotions that they don't fully understand. So be patient and kind, but explain to him that if there's something he wants, or if there's something you can do for him, he needs to settle down and use his words. Tell him to talk kindly to you, and explain why he's upset, then the two of you can work out what to do.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 10:20 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • My son is that age, also. I try to give him choices as much as possible, just keep it simple (Dora or Cars bowl for breakfast, blue or red shirt, etc.). If you use more than that they have a hard time deciding. Make sure you pick your battles and be firm about them. No means no, otherwise he'll know that if he screams enough he'll get it. Reward any and all positive behavior. Hugs and high fives are just as effective as candy or stickers. Keeping him busy might help. Plan out daily activities that will keep him occupied (coloring, painting, puzzles, blocks). Anything that both kids can do together. And it is okay to take a Mommy time out and to apologize if you lose your temper a little. You are human and make mistakes, but acknowledging it shows him how to deal with tantrums better. Good luck, mama!
    bugfin

    Answer by bugfin at 12:12 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

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