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Listening issues

My daughter has listening issues. Whenever I tell her not to do something she does it anyway. She also keeps doing the same things even after she gets punished for them. Yelling at her doesnt work, taking things away doesnt work, standing her in a corner doesnt work and neither does sending her to her room. She is 4 years old. Does any one have any suggestions? I'm at the end of my rope here.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Jun. 7, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • I have six kids and I have found that as a general rule, punishment does not work. It is not the best way to teach kids. They learn by the way they are treated. If you show her attention and respect, if you listen to her opinions and thoughts and ideas, she is more likely to listen to you. When you ask something of her, make sure it's reasonable, try to think how it sounds or feels to her, and how you might feel about it if you were her. Kids hate being ordered about. They enjoy being asked nicely, just as much as you do. So if you want her to pick up a toy or a piece of rubbish she dropped, a please and thankyou is appropriate, as is a reason why she should do it. Don't just give orders, because she'll feel used and unappreciated. Know what I mean?

    Answer by judimary at 11:30 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • That actually makes sense. When I ask her to do something and say please she usually does it with out any problems and I always say thank you but when she does something that upsets me and I yell at her and send her to her room she throws a fit and wont do it without a fight. Sometimes its just hard to remember she needs to feel like she has some what of a choice and to feel like she wont always get into trouble.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:49 PM on Jun. 7, 2011

  • LOL, it can be hard to remember to respect her feelings when she's pushing your buttons! I know!

    Answer by judimary at 3:53 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Since you've tried everything else, and I'm assuming you are consistent, especially with time-out, I would try spanking. I believe in spanking as a last resort. Re-assess the time-out method. Are you putting her in a corner and setting a timer for 4 minutes (1 min. per age) and putting her back in if she leaves the corner and starting the timer all over again? If you send her to her room, do you make sure she is not playing with anything or that she is staying there? Different methods work for different children. I had four. Punishing worked for my oldest son, spanking worked for my 2nd and 3rd sons, and counting to 3 worked for my daughter (maybe because she saw what the others got). Nevertheless, do not give up or you will have bigger problems when she is older.

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:11 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Hi this age is pretty hard at times because they are little people coming into their own personalities. Well since you have tried almost everything i reccommend what i do with my son i take something that i know he plays with on a regular and he is not allowed to play with it for a certain time frame and this seems to work for me. I hope this helps.

    Answer by MommysAngels744 at 9:45 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

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