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How should I take it?

The other day I gave him a choice...Either we can just be friends or we can work together and try to make this work. I told him to think about it and when he has made his decision, to call me. The next day I got a txt and the day after that I got an e-mail. Both were very sweet. We work together and he asked me if I wanted to go as his date to the Christmas party, I accepted. He has been really sweet to me and has been giving me hugs when no one is watching. His co-worker has a big influence on him and I am not sure if he is only doing this because of what she says. Should I just look at us as friends until he tells me personally what his decision is or assume by his actions that he wants us to work things out?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Dec. 10, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • 1) You gave him an ultimatum. 2) He did not respond to your ultimatum. 3) He will not hug you in front of other people. 4) He makes you feel bad if you bring up relationships.

    Truth as I see it? A man who loves a woman, respects her first and foremost. If he wants a relationship, he lets her know so in no uncertain terms. This man is wishy-washy, strings you along, makes you feel bad. He is not in this for a relationship. He also plays mind games on you. Please understand that mind games are actually a subtle form of abuse.....a way to keep you unbalanced and therefore easier to control.

    Go to the dance, go on dates , play with him as YOU want. But, start enjoying YOUR life by making YOUR own decisions. There are too many nice men out there for you to trap yourself with this person.

    Answer by DanieT at 6:17 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • tell him you are not sure you are understanding his communication clearly and would like it spelled out for you.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:21 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • I would assume he is trying to show you he wants to work at it...but, dont wonder..just ask him

    Answer by MaMa2_DJ_IJ at 4:22 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • I want to ask him but I am kinda scared that he is going to get mad at me...

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • Oh honey. Your uncertainty already tells you what the answer is. Trust your gut. If you are scared he'll get mad at you if you ask him to say clearly whether you are to be 'friends' or 'more', perhaps you should look at this from a different angle. Do YOU want to be around the kind of person who becomes angry when asked to tell the truth?

    Answer by DanieT at 5:16 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • You're right. I just don't want to cause drama. It's just that everytime I ask him a question like this, he turns it around. I told him thank you for inviting me to go as your guest to the Christmas party and his response was... "A guest...I see :(" I asked him, what did you want me to go as and he replied "I guess what ever you are comfortable with". He never gives me a straight answer and it makes me upset. It is all so confusing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • He said "date" when he asked... then when you say "guest" he says "guest, I see" so he's thinking you're wanting to be friends...
    Sheesh just ask, tell him you want more if you do. Maybe he didn't hug you in front of people because he didn't want you to reject him with anyone seeing.
    Sounds to me like you're jelous of the coworker.... he took YOU, not her.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:03 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • She is married and is also my friend. I am not jealous of her, I am just saying that she has a big infuence on him and he would do whatever she asked. I asked him if he was going to go to the Christmas party and he says no, she asks and he says yes. I was with him for a year and I think that I should be considered too. She wants us to get back together and I want to know that what he is doing towards me is really what he wants to do and that he isn't just doing it because he doesn't want to disappoint her because he looks up to her. He actually just said, do you want to go with me? She told him he needs to get out of the house and should ask me to go ask of town with him and so he did...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Dec. 11, 2008