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Ok so last week we had a family get together for our daughter. We somehow got on the subject of losing weight. Since had my daughter 4 months ago I have lost 35 lbs but I still want to lose another 30 lbs but thats besides the point. I and my sister take after our dads side of the family. they are all very large people. I am definitaly a lot smaller than they are. My sister is well over 300 lbs along with a few other members of our family.

The next day I called my MIL to ask her a question about planting something and she got on the subject about fat people. She kept telling me how big and fat my sister is and that after she has her surgery that she is going to have the extra skin hanging on her and what does she plan on doing about it. Well I'm close to my sister but as her sister I feel some things I shouldnt ask about. My SIL is also a heavy woman who has struggled with her weight for a very long time and my MIL proceeds to tell me that my sister is even bigge than her. Look I have eyes and I can see for myself just how big my sister is.

Now the kicker, my MIL then tells me that my sister and I are built a lot like my dad. So I am about half the weight that my sister is and I'm trying like hell to lose the weight but I didn't need to be categorized with my obese sister and father. I just felt like that was a round about way of my MIL calling me fat. What do you think and what would you have said in my situation? I just got really quiet and then got off the phone after she said that and haven't really talked to her since. I got off the phone and cried to my husband and he said well my mom just doesn't think before she talks. I also talked to my overweight SIL and she said basically the same thing that the woman has no filter and just says the most rude things. Oh and I should mention that this woman isn't exactly skinny. Now she is in no way fat but she has meat on her and she really has no right talking about fat people.

I guess the one good thing that came out of this was that I am working even harder now to lose the weight. I go for walks with my kids everyday for 30 minutes and then at night I workout on the eliptical machine and now I am watching everything that gets put into my mouth. I just feel so unbelievably horrible that she would say that to me.

I am putting this in two categories:health and relationships.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:12 AM on Jun. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I would of simply reminded her that she isnt so skinny herself & could stand to lose a few. Sorry she made you feel like that, i cant stand people who act that way. Good luck on your weightloss journey!

    Answer by Mrs_Harsh at 8:34 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • If you lose weight for anyone but yourself there's a good chance you may gain the weight back because your inside has to change along with your outside.
    I think it was EXTREMELY rude for your MIL to be talking about anyone's fatness! lol RUDE RUDE RUDE. I would have told her that unless her motives were coming from a concern of her health sort of stand point, then nothing should have been said. RUDE!
    I don't even understand why your MIL is even concerned with your sister? It's just weird to me....

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 8:37 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Do not be afraid to call people (even MIL) out when they are being rude. Simply say, that was not nice, or "Why are you so judgemental" or Why are you so inconsiderate? It sounds like she has some character defects and chances are she has been so extreme that no one has dared to call her on it. She is a bully and needs to be put in her place. Do not give her the power to control you. She sounds like a miserable person. I would think of some one-liners to respond with the next time she speaks like this. Make sure to do it with a smile and a care free tone. She will be frustrated that she is not changing your demeanor and she wants everyone else as miserable as she is. Eventually maybe she will get the hint, if not it will give you back the power she is taking from you. Good luck !! :-)

    Answer by LeJane at 8:50 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • hey girl... keep your head up and concentrate on what you want to accomplish. don't compare yourself with anyone else even if it is a family member. we all have a different metabolism just have to become more active. yes watch what we put in our mouths. sounds like you have will to do it. adding antioxidants to our lives helps. I started out with a good detox (ultra body cleanse) to clean out all the old food stored in digestive tract. become proactive and help clean the liver (one organ that does a lot of work for us) get rid of sodas and bad snack habits. sugar contributes to our weight problems. you can do this girl! get the balance you looking for. try decreasing servings per meals. ( eat at least 4 small meals a day) it worked for me with exercise daily. its not hard as it seems, don't treat it as going on a diet (changing lifestyle. Levive yourself!!!

    Answer by miamoma at 1:02 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • miamoma what did you do to detox. I don't want to take pills or anything since I know they usually don't work. Any help would be great. I have been doing so good with watching what I eat and exercising. I execise just about every night and I haven't lost a single pound. I'm also on the depo shot and the doctor told me it's a lot harder to lose weight once you are on it but he said it isn't impossible just harder. Well its so frustrating when 3 weeks go by and I haven't lost a pound. But I just keep going at it hoping that it will eventually work for me.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:13 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

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