Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Am I a bad mother?

Sometimes I think I'm a bad mom because I don't feel "the butterflies" I think I I should be feeling when I look at my son, and too sometimes I just don't want to play be aide I would rather sit down, I'm tired. Am I a bad mom?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on Jun. 8, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Not feeling butterflies and getting tired do not make you a bad mother. If these are the only two factors under consideration, I don't think you have anything to worry about. If you are neglecting the needs of your child--that's what makes a bad mom!!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:14 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I don't think you're a bad mother, I think that we all go through those feelings. However, If you're feeling those feelings often, as in the majority of the time, I agree that you should probably talk to your OB. It could be a hormonal imbalance and talking about your feelings coupled with a prescription could make you feel 100 times better! One thing that helped me was joining a Mom's group. They usually meet once a week and most of the time you can find a group with babies similar in age as your child. You can go talk to other Mom's, and the babies get social time as well. A win-win! Good Luck!
    Lyjeeboo

    Answer by Lyjeeboo at 9:57 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I don't think you are a bad mother base on what you have written but i do think that if you are not playing with your son at times it may affect him because that is bonding time for a son and mother.
    MommysAngels744

    Answer by MommysAngels744 at 9:13 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Are you a new mother? Are you getting help at home? If you're feeling down, sad, crying etc., it may be a good idea to call your OB, and express your feelings. They may refer you to a psychiatrist, and/or a therapist

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 9:16 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I agree with NannyB, if those things are it you should be fine. GL
    Genice6

    Answer by Genice6 at 9:21 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I agree with Christine0813.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 9:21 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Children are demanding! It's normal to need a break. As for "butterflies" well... I don't feel them EVERY time I look at my kids. Usually only when they're sleeping lol the rest of the day they are being to mischevious
    Nicoles2LilRams

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 9:22 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • 1)Not every mother gets the 'love at first site' experience. For some it is a process. There may never he a defining moment in their relationship with their child but it does NOT mean they do not love their child as much as a mother who has. With my DS I never had that moment. I love him dearly and just because I can't tell you when it happened means nothing.
    2)Not every mom is into 'playing' I for one do not play. I am involved. I suggest what they should try to draw or build with the blocks. I cuddle with them on the couch for a movie, I take them to the playground and we chat while they play. I am not get int he floor and do play dough kind of mom. I still love them and connect wit them on other levels.
    3)No mother has the feeling of sunshine and roses 24/7. All mothers get a tired or burnt out sometimes. It's normal! Just make sure you are taking care of yourself. Get out once in a while. It is good for you
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 9:23 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Don't define yourself by someone else's standard of mom. No mom is happy everyday all day. Some days we are just happy to have them all clean, fed and dressed. None of which we were able to accomplish for ourselves :-).

    If you put pressure on yourself to be supermom you may find yourself resenting your kids and hubby too. Take a breath and enjoy watching him play. When you have a moment take some "me" time (take a long hot bath, read a book) something mindless and recharge.

    As for the butterfiles...wait till he's a teenager and you become a fire breathing dragon.

    Life is too short to worry about spilled Lego's and grass stains that other mothers can always seem to clean up and get out. Be the wonderful YOU that YOU are!!!
    sipn_mom

    Answer by sipn_mom at 9:44 AM on Jun. 8, 2011