I'm 24, I have a three year old son.. My husband was the love of my life, when we were boyfriends he completely turned my world upside down...
Later when I found out I was pregnant, things were being a little difficult between us, he didn't had time for me or even attending my phone calls.. I suspected there was something wrong.. We were separated for almost a month in which I had to travel to another country with my family. It was the most difficult time of my life since I hadn't told anyone but him about the pregnancy. I would go out in the middle of the night, walk long blocks on the coldest December ever for calling him.. He was never available.. When I came back he was distant.. He made up excuses for leaving early.. That's when I sort of hacked his email account and found out he was dating someone else, writing her emails in which he promised her the stars and the moon.
I got really depress, I remember not caring about my health anymore, Not sleeping, not eating, I would just cry while walking the entire city like a damn zombie or sth.. I just couldn't understand how could he be fooling around when I was already pregnant, with his baby on the way.. I felt betrayed not only as a lover, but as a friend... After that I tried leaving him but he begged and even got a place for starting over again, we got married and he was the most amazing husband ever, caring, tender, loyal..
We went through three difficult years... But between us everything was fine. The past few months I've been feeling so insecure. I cry and stress and get so paranoid about everything, I feel there's something going on.. We had a fight three months ago because he was writing on a woman's wall in Facebook, about calling her and when I confronted him because I didn't even know her, I mean, he knows everyone at my office! He said it was just somebody at work and he wasn't going to call her, it was a way of saying hello... I didn't believe it for a second... I got mad, sleep in another room and closed my Facebook account. No matter how much I asked he would deny.. Why I kept on asking? Because he denied everything in the first affair, even when he knew I had seen pictures!
I Recently found out I'm pregnant, and it's been some complications, I'll know if this pregnancy is going any further within two weeks.. When I get my check up. We were very excited about the baby, I even though it was God giving me the chance of replacing the awful memories of the first one, being alone and all.. And yesterday I told him I wanted him to understand the commitment of this, because I was giving him not only my love, but my body.. It is my body that will be marked somehow... And I told him I wanted no more lies... No more flirting or anything.. And yesterday night (3 months after the last fight) I'm googling some stuff and the history pops open and I see he's been checking out Facebook profiles and pictures, same than last time... I cried and yelled and even threw up! I felt so angry... He then told me he had already closed it..
But it's not Facebook! It's him! I mean, I'm not saying he was cheating, although I wouldn't know for sure but why is that I don't need to be googling my exes? Or being in touch? I left in the morning and he got so pissed because I didn't woke him up for driving me.. He said he was angry because I wasn't taking care of myself and the baby because I walked a few blocks but I don't believe he cares about my health! I went back home and he wouldn't talk to me, then he would just be cynical with me... And I think.. How can you love someone when you are there watching them suffer and you don't feel a thing...
I know this must seem so silly for some people, like just walk out of there already but the thing is that I do believe in marriage, I do love him.. With all my heart... I've given up my life for him.. And Sometimes I feel like getting even! But I'm just not interested in no one else, I don't want another man... I know it won't change a thing... But I'm just so scared this might be it.. I don't know what to do.. I'm scared, I'm sad, I'm exhausted ad there's a baby on the way..
Answer by miamoma at 12:08 PM on Jun. 8, 2011
This is a REALLY good site for dealing with this!! I didn't read your whole post... but trust me, on that site you will find TONS of help, support and resources!! ;o)
Answer by Crafty26 at 10:58 AM on Jun. 8, 2011
Answer by AydensMommy1109 at 11:08 AM on Jun. 8, 2011
Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 11:10 AM on Jun. 8, 2011
Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 11:11 AM on Jun. 8, 2011
Answer by My3Ez at 11:27 AM on Jun. 8, 2011
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