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Do you think if you trust someone you shouldn't have to ask questions?

Do you believe if you trust someone (bf/gf, SO, etc) you shouldn't ask questions? My SO says we have big trust issues because I always ask him where he is and what he's doing when he calls. Sometimes if I think he's acting shady I'll make comments like wow did you sit in traffic for a while because I'm not stupid.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Jun. 8, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Spin it around, and tell him:

    when you love someone you are interested and care about the little details of their lives...and wanting to know, is an expression of your love and interest, not of your distrust.
    Dkhilly

    Answer by Dkhilly at 12:07 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • You should always ask questions to keep them honest. That way you'll know if you can keep trusting them or not.
    Imogine

    Answer by Imogine at 11:34 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • No, you want to know. Him not answering you directly makes him suspicious. If he had nothing to hide then he would answer and reassure you you have nothing to worry about.
    booger14

    Answer by booger14 at 11:25 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • My dh just tells me what is going on. I do not even have to ask.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 11:26 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Nope, I think if you trust someone, you naturally openly talk about those things.
    momov4kids

    Answer by momov4kids at 11:28 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • He tells me he never asks what I'm doing because he trusts me. Well I've never given him a reason not to. Him on the other hand, I'm still working on trusting him after he's damaged it three times. I always feel like he is hiding stuff, I tell him I want him to tell me things whether he thinks I'll be mad or not but he says he'd rather just not tell me because I'll probably eventaully find out and be mad. Sometimes he overreacts so much he will say something stupid like, "my god what do you want me to tell you every F***** thing I do, should I tell you everytime i go to the bathroom". UGH
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:29 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Yeah he is like that too iffy435. I am home all day with the kids. If we didn't talk and he didn't tell me what he's been up to we might not even have anything to talk about. Maybe hes just not that interested in what I do.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:30 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Are you being pushy about it? If my husband calls me during the day, I don't ask what are you doing, do you live together? I mean it kind of sounds like you might have some trust issues, has he given you any reason to think he is up to something. It can be hard not to 'smother", in the future, I would not ask again.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:31 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I think if you are asking those types of questions, you probably DON'T trust him.
    Shanna84

    Answer by Shanna84 at 11:34 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • No we don't. He works too far away and he is trying to get a certification so he has to go practice after work. So we see him friday saturday and sunday during the day. I am not pushy about it. If he callsme during the day I just ask him how his day is, hows work going. Usually he calls me when he gets home at night and I'll ask him what he did today because everyday is different. He's given me plenty of reason in the past not to trust him but isint it natural to just include those things in your conversation? When he gets mad that I ask him It just makes me angry thinking hes trying to hide something because he doesn't want me to ask.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:34 AM on Jun. 8, 2011