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3 Bumps


During the summer I babysit a family friend's 14 year old son who has down syndrome.

She is the type of person who will say her son can do anything a normal child can ( such as playing or going places- which is true) ...

BUT if it comes to behaving she just kind of laughs and say you cant blame him because it is the way he is. ...

She thinks its "cute" when he will destroy the room ( dumping out every toy, throwing couch cushions on the floor, and then pretending like he is sleeping) ... he only does this when she is here.... if she isnt around he listens and doesnt act that way... he will even pick up stuff , he doesnt call my kids names or say mean things - UNLESS she is around.

I have nicely tried to mention things about it ,like when he pretends to sleep or refuses to pick up beofre he leaves, I will say " well he always helps pick up his messes during the day" and she will " oh no, they dont understand to do that stuff" ...

And now that I am starting to watch him again all day, she is sending him a lunch -- which consists of 4 small chicken nuggets and a yogurt. ... he wont eat the yogurt, and since he is such a big kid ( he is 14 and about 200 lbs ) ... 4 little nuggets does not fill him up ! i mean my small 2 year old eats that many nuggets... Which means I have to buy extra food because he will complain all day because he is hungry ... so i am spending more than half what I am paid just to buy him food...

Again, i have nicely tried to tell her that he always says he is hungry and he wants more nuggets... and she will say well that is all she wants to give him because he is on a diet... Well i mean if she wants him on a diet that is her desicion because that is her child.... but she cant expect him to eat 4 nuggets between 8am to 4 pm... and if it is a good diet... she wouldnt take him to fast food for supper basically every night....

It is just getting so annoying that this is going to be my last summer watching him !

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on Jun. 8, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (10)
  • I would give her two weeks notice and stop now.....

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 11:48 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Wow.. she doesn't sound like a very good mom to me.. I would, personally, stop watching him if she can't listen to the things you are saying.. I couldn't feed my 4 year old four nuggets a day and her be full! He needs a breakfast, lunch and snack.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 11:49 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I agree with PPs. Stop watching him.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 11:50 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Call her up, tell her you need a serious talk. Explain that if she wants you to still watch her child for the summer that some changes need to happen. Tell her what you have said here.If she disagrees, tell her your sorry but You'll give her a week or two to find someone else, but your done. Youre going to have to be blunt about it,dont have to be rude or anything but I don't think that lady will understand any beating around the bush.The food thing, yeah that has to stop.4 chicken nuggets for a 14 year old for an entire day? Thats like starvation. Tell her,look bring more food or compensate me for the money I spend on food. And unless they are homemade chicken nuggets..that isnt exactly a "diet" food.
    Good Luck

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:56 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Tell her to bring a bag of carrots, and celery for him to munch on, I would tell her that she needs to provide better food for him, or you will be adding $10 a day to his care,, it might be better to go that route anyway... as for picking up after himself, I assume that you have a time when she comes? Make sure his chores are all done, before she gets there. Now the big question is do you want to continue watching him or not? If not there is nothing wrong with giving 2 weeks notice and calling it good.

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:59 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I would talk to her and tell her everything and if she doesn't start sending him with better food, you're not going to watch him or you're going to add $50/week to her bill.

    Answer by bellagracie82 at 12:06 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • What a situationGod love you for what you have done so far. I think first you must talk to her away from the situation/Starbucks,sit outside, if she really seems to want to work w/you give her a 2wk trial run,if all goes well, keep on her to stick/w her end of the deal( oh good another child to deal with)if money is not a problem loose her after 2wks,if she really is a friend she will see your side also. Good Luck!

    Answer by Dianny888 at 12:09 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I agree with kimberley, sit her down and explain to her the changes that need to occur if you are going to continue watching him. And let her know if she can't/won't comply, you are giving her 2 weeks notice (or a month if you want to be really nice) to find another sitter for him. Good luck.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 12:10 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I remember the last post you made about this boy & his mom. If it bothers you that much & you can't seem to get through to the mom, then why are you watching him still?

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 12:48 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I think it is time to talk to her, let her know her son needs more than 4 nuggets (tell her he does not eat the yogurt), and you can't afford to buy extra food to feed him each day. If she does not want to send more food then I would say "fine, then I will be raising my rates to cover the cost of the food I have to buy to feed your child". As a mom of a child with Autism, I cringed when I read that she allows him to get away with destroying and not picking up. I treat my ASD child the same as his 'normal' brothers-- if he makes a mess, he cleans it up. Simple as that. I do not allow him to use the "but I have autism" card as an excuse for naughty behavior or to get out of doing things. Clearly her child CAN pick up (he does for you) she is not doing him any favors allowing him to get away with this behavior with her.
    I do think it might be best to just give her notice and tell her to find another sitter.
    good luck!

    Answer by MizLee at 1:48 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

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