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3 Bumps

Be glad you have one child?

I just found out that I will likely not have any more children. It is the blackest, darkest place I have been in in a long time. All family, including dh can tell me is be glad you have one, be grateful god gave you one. NO SHIT! I would never be ungrateful for him. But it is not the plan I had in my head. They don't understand that it feels like a betrayal of your own body.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:54 AM on Jun. 8, 2011 in Pregnancy

Answers (15)
  • I know exactly how u feel,I have been where u r right now!!! message me,we'll talk ,just u and me.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 11:58 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I totally understand how you feel. I would feel the same way.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 11:58 AM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I'm sorry you're going through this ... you are mourning, though maybe not in a traditional sense, and it seems that those around you simply don't understand. A very good friend of mine went through a similar ordeal and actually sought out therapy to help her cope with the situation. (((HUGS))).
    FootballMom85

    Answer by FootballMom85 at 12:00 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • It is so hard to come to terms with, and after several miscarriages, and a stillborn, I finally got my 1, I don't think they are trying to be harsh, but think of all the people who couldn't manage to have even one..and there is always adoption,, sorry mamma!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 12:01 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • ((HUGS)) First I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. Second, they won't be able to understand unless they themselves have went through it. But it sounds like they are trying to make you feel better in their own way. My heart truely goes out to you. Maybe once you have healed you can start to think about how you can adjust your plans to fit this road bump. Maybe adoption or being a foster parent. You can still spread the love you had planned for the second child.Maybe you will even decide one child is just right for you. You can focus everything you have on him. But that is for down the road. Take sometime for your self until you reach that point. Relax and heal.
    MrsLLove

    Answer by MrsLLove at 12:02 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • well miracles happen every single day. My cousin was told she never should of even had one! That her chances were one in a million and that having a second child just wasn't going to happen. A few months later she got pregnant. So this happened not once but twice. You never know what lies ahead. Drs can say what they want to say but they aren't GOD
    myownhappiness

    Answer by myownhappiness at 12:03 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I know you're hurting, and so do they, people often stumble and say the wrong things when trying to offer comfort. Don't be mad at them for too long.

    ...but go ahead and be mad at the situation for a healthy while.
    Dkhilly

    Answer by Dkhilly at 12:04 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • This is a hard thing to deal with. I know a few women who were told that they would never be able to have children, not even one. But they ended up having more than one. I would say to keep hope that maybe the doctor is wrong. They dont always know everything and some times they can only give you their best guess. I know its not the same but if you cant get pregnant again maybe you could look into adoption. There are millions of kids out there who dont have a family or who live with parents who dont love them or want them. Tell your family that you are grateful that you at least have one kid but you are still bummed that you may not be able to have more. Some times our plans for life need to be altered a little but that doesnt mean you cant be sad about it and need the time to adjust and let it sink in so you can make those changes.
    SMG1120

    Answer by SMG1120 at 12:05 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I hate it when people say that. Because of course you're greatful to have your child, but just because we want another one doesn't mean we aren't greatful for the first. WE just want to have another child and when we find out that we can't it's heartbreaking! I mean some people's ambition is to have and raise babies. What do you do when you no longer can't?
    Imogine

    Answer by Imogine at 12:11 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I'm so sorry. It is one thing deciding your not having another, but knowing "you can't' i'm sure is incredibly difficult. I agree though, Dr's are wrong all the time. (hugs)
    RelaxedMom2-3

    Answer by RelaxedMom2-3 at 12:14 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

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