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5 Bumps

What is the best way to help rekindle the romance in a relationship??

My husband and I have been together for almost 8 years, only married for 2 1/2 years (it will be 3 years in August 2011). Granted we have 3 boys, and that makes it hard to spend time together and so on. However, what is the best way to help rekindle that spark, help bring some romance back to the relationship? Also, we are planning on having a renewal ceremony for our 3rd anniversary in August, since we didn't get have a wedding "we" wanted. Any ideas for that as well. Thank you so much, for any and all advice and information.

Answer Question

Asked by cwelch2008 at 1:06 PM on Jun. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (49 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Do you have any relatives that live near you? If you do see if they will watch your boys overnight and surprise your husband with a night home alone. Sometimes simple is all it takes. As for renewing the vows, I got married in Las Vegas, I don't know if you can plan a trip that size, but it was the best time of my life. The Elvis Presley impersonator that married us was hilarious and he made us sing our vows to each other with Elvis songs.

    Answer by ednahorton at 1:13 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I agree that sometimes simple is all it takes. If you have some one that can watch the boys overnight you could cook a nice dinner for two and buy new piece of lingerie to surprise him afterward. Or you can do something that the 2 of you enjoy doing instead. I know for my husband and I that when we get rid of our daughter for a night we would rather order a pizza and play a video game we both like. It relaxes us and makes us feel like we arent parents and we laugh and have a lot of fun. I know that doesnt sound very romantic but to us, its romantic in a different way where we dont have to worry about our daughter, or house chores or bills or anything else but that moment.

    Answer by SMG1120 at 1:26 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • A date night? Have the children stay the night at a friends or relatives? Just do something for the 2 of you and don't talk about the children. Talk about and do the things you did together before getting married?

    Answer by meooma at 1:29 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Yeah, we now have relatives. We just don't like asking for anyone to watch our boys because they can be a handful. Although, my mother in law believes in order for a relationship to work you must have alone time. She is just always so busy with the kids she baby sits and with her life that we just don't want to impose. You know? But, we will talk with her and see if we can't set up 2 nights a month to have alone time and see how that goes. That sounds like fun about your Vegas wedding. At least you were able to have fun. Thanks for the input.

    Comment by cwelch2008 (original poster) at 1:31 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • This is what you need to do, Im in teh same boat myself.... plan if for a few months from now- in order to give someone MIL maybe full notice of when you wnat to do it to prepare for the kids, and you plan a weekend getaway to a B&B on a lake or a winery or something fun and romantic so you two can rekindle that spark! I live between the great lakes so thats what Im trying. Good luck with whatever you chose!

    Answer by kgrine at 1:41 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • My experience during my 26 years of marriage.

    Any marriage is as romantic, sexy, hot, etc.. as the 2 people in that marriage want it to be and are willing to put in the effort to make it. Stimulating those loving feelings, stimulating romance can be very simple. It does not have to be about special dates, special activities, special clothes..etc. It is as simple as projecting a loving, romantic, and stimulating attitude towards one another. Stimulating that attitude, stimulates the environment which helps to stimulate and encourage those feelings all the way around. A "date" is a feels like a date because of the interaction between the two people on it, not necessarily because of the physical environment. Treat one another in a manner that stimulates loving, romantic feelings. Look at the way the two of you talk, touch, look at one another..etc. Could those things be more loving, more stimulating, more romantic?

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:22 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • when the kids go to bed and we just stay up and talk about everything that is the best makes me feel like were still close and on the same page .. just me and him time

    Answer by mom3902 at 9:06 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I think one is that you have to rebuild yourself. Being mommy, housecleaner, organizer, etc and so on, wears down the things that make you exude sexiness, and wear down his understanding that you are a woman to work for. Then helping to wake him up to the fact that there needs to be a little more romance, sometimes he might just notice the changes you make (though I've never known a woman lucky enough to have a man like that, lol!). Books by sex therapists that walk you through ways to hold off on things and bring on the longing, and Pure Romance were lifesavers in my relationship!

    Answer by vasa9653 at 1:48 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

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