I want to start out by saying that the reason this bothers me so much ( to make me actually make a post about it) .. is that I am mad at myself for letting it bother me ( if that makes sense) ... and I am wondering on how others would handle this ?
I have been very happily married for the last 6 years, and I have 2 wonderful kids. I have always had self confidence and I have never worried about the way i looked or lived... until I met my inlaws.
My mother in law and sisters in law are all tall, super skinny, blonde women who devote their time to making a carreer ( SiLs both have high up jobs that they spend 10+ hours a day), they constantly work out, they also all have super mcmansions including people who clean it and watch their kids while they live that life....
Then there is me, a 'curvy" brunette who grew up on a farm, who devotes my time to take care of my house and kids...
They are very uppity acting ( basically snobby) and they make little jokes about my weight ( which I want to add, I would honestly chose my body over theirs -- I am not unhealthy, I am not even fat - I just have a little extra jiggle, and my husband isnt complaining so I dont see why they are) ... For example, MIL posted a photo on Facebook of me standing in the middle of SILs ( it was at a mothers day get together) ... and her comment under it said " obviously the 2 on the ends are mine" ... someone else commented on it and say " nancy, that doesn't sound too nice lol" so she put " didn't mean to - after all she has a very pretty face" ... On Thanksgiving I made alot of food to take to there and none of them ate it because they said it is hard to tell how much butter and stuff I put in it ( even though the men loved the food)... another time when they were going shopping and said " we didnt mean to not invite you, but we just didnt want to make you uncomfortable because the store probably didnt have your size, AND both times I was pregnant we invited my MIl to go along to an appt ( she she could hear her grandchilds heartbeat) and she made a scene both times by asking my DR if my weight was causing any damage for the baby ( he told her not at all ) ... I really cannot go a day around them without a little comment like these
My house is my dream house ( its a cottage house)... I love decorating it , I even love cleaning it... I know every detail of my house.... It isnt even that small - i have a large family and they can all fit comfortably in it... but yet they refuse to come over because they say it is too small and they just wouldnt feel comfortable in it.... Well honestly I do not feel comfortable in their houses... they are so big and plain ( every wall is white and some just have some fancy looking art piece) ... but I dont say anything about it to them because I wont be rude like that.... They will talk about " you guys could have a nice house like this if you werent a stay at home mom " .. my husband at first use to say " nah, we are happy where we are" ,but now it makes him mad so he grits his teeth so he doesnt say something mean...
It just makes me upset... I have never done anything to them, I went into this marriage actually expecting a sisterly relationship with them... but instead they actually try to set my husband up with their friend ( who could be their triplet) ...
I just dont see how we could ever be a happy family or even a regular family with them... my husband said he has pretty much already given up with them and is fine only seeing them on Holidays and that he is fine having my family as his... but I dont think he should have to feel that way !!!
Asked by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Jun. 8, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by meooma at 1:47 PM on Jun. 8, 2011
Answer by scout_mom at 1:47 PM on Jun. 8, 2011
Answer by MaryMW at 1:50 PM on Jun. 8, 2011
Answer by Mme.Langley at 1:51 PM on Jun. 8, 2011
Answer by americansugar80 at 1:53 PM on Jun. 8, 2011
Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:54 PM on Jun. 8, 2011
Answer by ItsMe89 at 2:12 PM on Jun. 8, 2011
I would probably just limit my contact with them. I don't even think I would want to subject my kids to their materialism. When you have to spend time with them and they make snide comments you can just laugh and say 'well, bless your heart'. They won't get it, but you can have your own little laugh about your complisult. When they make comments about you not working you can just say that you can't imagine missing your children growing up and not being there when they need you, depending on a stranger to do the job for you. It's one thing if both parents have to work, but one shouldn't be belittled because the choice is there to make. Good luck, they sound like a hand-full.
Answer by QuinnMae at 2:28 PM on Jun. 8, 2011
Answer by jorjiegirl at 3:27 PM on Jun. 8, 2011
Answer by Dahis at 3:52 PM on Jun. 8, 2011
Next question overall
Does a pool have to be above a certain temperature to go in it?