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Please Help.. Last year my dh & I turned 50 and had a huge party

but not 1 of his brother or sisters and their families came from out of state 3 different states. 1 stating that they couldn't put anymore miles on their van but in the next paragrah stating how they were going to their rented cabin and to a wedding a few hundred miles away and they just went to our nephews graduation which is the brother that lives closest to us but still couldn't drive another 600 miles to see us.. The closest one to us said they couldn't let their kids not do their not do their sports and the futherest one said their car broke down and they couldn't afford to fix it.
Not one even acknowledged our party didn't send a card or anything just let it go like nothing happened. I gave them a whole years notice. I am still really pissed we renewed our wedding vows then also and they weren't at the 1st wedding either in fact his sisters have never been to where we live.
Do I have a right to be pissed and should I just let them know why I am mad. He hasn't talked to any of them in about 2 yrs now and now they are trying to come back into the picture.
What would you do and what should I do.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Jun. 8, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I would not bother telling them I was pissed, as they obviously are so self-involved and care so litte for others that nothing you say will sink in. Personally if my or hubs family did that to us, we would make no effort to stay in contact with them. If they keep want to visit "oh, sorry we have other plans" as for phone calls, I would be polite but distant and talk about the most general things, and not personal topics and keep the conversation short. I would not have them on my facebook, or reply to many emails either.

    Answer by MizLee at 3:47 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I would just let things go. Sometimes people want to be lazy and not put forth any effort in a relationships. That sounds like his siblings. Yet at the same time not holding it against them will feel better, you will be the bigger person and you can hopefully still have a relationship with them. I am guessing that you had a great time without them so it was really their loss.

    Answer by Melbornj at 3:49 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Tell them to kiss my butt. They couldnt come to my party or to my wedding so bite me..

    Answer by kiki637 at 3:35 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • It's the only family he has left so I think he is feeling the pressure to let them in but I am still hurt they didn't even acknowlege us at all

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:37 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • let them in ever so slowly. don't invite them to things you know they won't show obviously and don't stress yourself out if they have something and invite you and your husband. obviously your husband didn't mind not speaking to them for 2 years. don't let why they didn't come bother you guys, what's done is done. you just know the next time

    Answer by lucky35 at 3:52 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Honestly I'd stay out of it, leave it up to him if he wants to let them in or not. Becauseif he does and you say no he might see ou as mean no matter how lpong you've been together

    Answer by amanda81919 at 4:02 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • They won't visit that's one of the biggest problems they will not come and make a ton of excuses yet I really can't fault my dh for wanting family when all of his Mom, dad, step dad, other brother & his wife are all gone.
    I invited them several times and yet they still come up with excuses so yeah that won't happen again and I will NEVER go there to visit.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:05 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • MizLee this is where all this started was Facebook that's just what I told the counselor today they are very self centered people

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:08 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I can see how you are hurt but I can't see driving 600 miles to a bday party. My nephew is turning 1 and they want everyone at his party. It is a 5 hr drive for me one way and I'm not doing it. I have stuff going on constantly with my dd and I get tired of booking up my wkends with obligations. On the other hand i am already going there in Sept for their wedding. I could easily say I can t go because we already went on fam. vacation to the beach, and we have traveled to grandmas funeral and now I have been driving my dd to swim meets every sat. I wouldnt mean anything hurtful by it, it would only be my excuse. I think you should stop expecting them to be there because they arent that kind of people and maybe it will hurt less. Just open the invitation and maybe soemday they will take you up on it but dont expect it. They will only get out of the relationship what they put in to it.

    Answer by ria7 at 4:12 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • It was a 50th b/day & marriage vow renewal and they didn't come to the 1st wedding either. I get tired of being the ones to travel to see them like I said the road goes both ways and why should we make any effort then either but hubby is missing family. If it would of been just a birthday party I could see the reason but this was a big milestone.
    Thanks to everyone for your answers I appreciate them all.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:23 PM on Jun. 8, 2011