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Do you have any helpful tips on how to not be resentful?

In review of circumstances concerning my family, i've come to the conclusion that I'm in fact resentful, and a tad bitter. In this case, I don't act out on my feelings, but inside I'm screaming! I'm not one to speak up unless I absolutely feel it's neccessary. In my situation, I don't say a word because I only feel it will cause more trouble and pain. The problem is, I find myself talking about it to my mother, and by the end of getting it out, I'm yelling, and cursing profusely. I never realized how much it REALLY bothers me, and it kind of scares me the way I get myself so worked up to the point i'm angry beyond belief. On one hand, I want to just tell each and everyone of them to get lost, but on the other, I want to keep playing nice and not give them any reason to put the blame on me for why they make little to no effort to acknowledge my son, or even just say hello once in a while. Any tips ladies? I can't seem to shake this feeling, and I don't want my son to sense i'm disappointed at his first birthday party this weekend. Thanks :)

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DJsMommy610

Asked by DJsMommy610 at 4:01 PM on Jun. 8, 2011 in Health

Level 18 (5,935 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • We can't control other people? Try to disconnect from them? Limit all kinds of contact to only absolute times? Just nod and smile when they speak to you? And remember life is not fair, and you have to make the most you can with the life you have. Good luck.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 4:12 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I need the answers to this question also.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • My kids first Birthday my family forgot it. So what I did, was I just have a little party with my kids, baked a cake and open gifts, had a good time, and pushed away the anger I had for the family.
    But the next morning I called my mom and had it out!!!!

    Tell this day my kids do not know their family forgot their first B-day.

    Just remember the child does not know what is going on, just make it a good day.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 4:13 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • For me it is a matter of what I give power. We all have thoughts running through our head.. I would take a logical look at everything going on. I have to remind myself that I am powerless over everyone except myself. To me, a birthday for a 1 year old is more for the parent and not the child. I would look at the fact that everyone has their own lives going on. Although my children are the center of my life, I can not expect everyone else to feel the same especially for something like this. It would be different if it were a wedding, graduation or so forth. I would suggest slowly expressing yourself instead of bottling up your emotions also write down all of your negative feelings and thoughts, then have a special celebration of burning them. Then move on and do not past trip to what you "felt" was wronged. Life is too short to let other people dictate what kind of life you are having..... Good Luck
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 4:16 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • hugsSending hugs your way ~ hope this will eventually become easier

    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:26 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Focus on your blessings rather than your disappointments.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 6:40 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I can relate but it does get better...you see I had my son 6 yrs ago and it was hard for my husbands family and my own to accept the way we rushed into having a baby. so I had for the 1st 3 years tried to throw birthday parties for my son who also had 4 cousins his age. I found myself in crying fits of anger because of the rejection at the time.
    Now he is 6 and so are his 4 cousins. in the last 2 years things have been getting better and that is all I can hope for...is better
    All you can do is look into the future and tell yourself that this is just 1 birthday and their will be others. When my son turned 3 nobody showed up...when he turned 4 it was about making it "his day"...he never remembers that other people were jerks. you are the one who needs to just feel the pain and let down, work it through and accept your feelings and validate them to yourself and keep walking forward with a smile.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:50 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

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