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How do you deal with a bio-mom that has cancer?

My husband and I just found out last night from one of my stepson's that their mother, my husband's ex has possible cancer and she is having surgery done tomorrow on her tongue and her mouth. Now I have had problems with my husband's ex because of the way that she has been acting since I married my husband and I am having a hard time or beside myself dealing that she has cancer. She has always been a "Miss Drama queen" what should I do? I don't know how to act around my stepson's while they go through this or is their mother trying to drum a drama soap opera??? Please let me know.

Thanks

 
Stepmomto5547

Asked by Stepmomto5547 at 6:43 PM on Dec. 10, 2008 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Around your stepsons you should act like a "mother". whether you like her or not has nothing to do with the kids. if the kids know or feel that you hate or dislike their mother that could cause that they will hate you. because its their mother after all.

    and i dont think the cancer "thing" is drama causing, because if so she wouldnt get a surgery done because of it.

    ive just been to your profile.. your stepsons are age 30+.. which means all of you are old enough to act like grown ups. if she is a drama queen then just ignore her. no matter how much you maybe dislike her, if she really has cancer then she might need the support and love of all the family members, including you.

    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 6:53 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • She may very well be trying to get attention. Wait till the biopsy is back from the surgery. Act normal around your step son uless he is asking lots of questions. Then deal with them in an age appropriate manner. You didt say how old your step son is. So I cant give you more advide. Best to wait and see how it all turns out.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 6:48 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • She has cancer somehow I dont think th at was part of some grand plan to cause drama. I think you should stay out of it and just offer kind words of support to her children when they are at your house. If you dont have a good relationship with her I dont think shes going to really want to hear from you anyway do you? Anything you do shes going to maybe take the wrong way, or as pity and not genuine. So just be the stepmom, and be nice to the kids when they are there, and thats that.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 6:53 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • Either way be supportive. The waiting is one of the hardest things at this time. If it's not cancer you can share in their relief, if it is they'll need yours and their father's love.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 7:11 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • just be the best stepmom you can be,,,,,,,you will be the better person in the end...
    seexxymama4u2me

    Answer by seexxymama4u2me at 7:52 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • I think this doesn't concern you at personally, but you just need to let your step son know you are there for him, tell him if he needs to talk about any of it, your there for him. Your only concern in this is your step son.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 1:58 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Doesn't matter how old the "child" is, doesn't even matter if they like or get along with their parent, but the thought alone that they could lose them is scarey. Tell them that it's okay if they need to talk, whether it be to you, their father or both of you about this. That whatever relationship you have with their mother, you'd never wish anything bad on anyone, that you're there for them. And I think that should pertain to your hubby too, that was once a person he loved, he's got to be worried about her because she's the mother of his children.
    Drama couldn't get a dr to do surgery (am assuming you're actually meaning biopsy?).
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:45 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

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