Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump


I am 26 weeks pregnant with my boyfriends baby. Well we recently got our own place together and I have a son from a previous marriage. Anyways he is always griping at me and blaming everything on me. Like we went to the gas station and I got some scratch offs bc I wanted to win some money and I lostmy money which was only 20 so he started to play and lost his which I didnt tell him to do and didnt know he was going to so he blamed it on me. and he has been a jerk to me. I asked him to do some dishes for me bc my back was hurting and he didnt he said I have to go to work and come home to clean , but he hardly ever cleans!! he is a slob!!! leaves his clothes every where. Whats it guna hurt him to help me a little bc my back is always hurting me. I'm kinda nervous that he might try to take the baby when I have it bc he is always saying oh if you leave me I'll just take the baby.

Also we just had an arguement about how he tells everything I tell him not to and he said "I didnt promise I wouldnt tell anyone" but he did and he is always saying oh I dont know if that baby is mine and he just said he is going to take me to court for the baby and that my ex is going to take my son away and he is always saying hurtful things to me like how my family is always talking about me and said they dont love me. I feel like I have no one to talk to or have no family and just feel so hurt. He tells me to get a job but who is guna hire me this far along pregnant?! and not only that who woud even watch the kids while I work after I have the baby? my mom lives walking distance but she never answers for me and I dont trust a day care or anyone I dont know and def wouldnt leave my kids. Then he always ends up saying hes sorry but if hes sorry then why does he keep saying these things? I cant keep dealing with this and feeling hurt from the things he says all the time but I wouldnt have any where to go bc if I stayed with my mom , her and her bf would want all the money I get for child support for their bills and they always used me in the past with bills and made me pay everything and only call if they need something. I dont know what to do?!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:24 PM on Jun. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Dont stay with your mom keep your money for you ur son and future baby, i would leave your bf he doesnt deserve you at all. thers help out there for pregnent women you can make sure he will never get the baby i dont know you but you r a beautiful smart young women who deserves MUCH MUCH BETTER! PLEASE BELIEVE ME HUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    get that help please sweetie :) do it for your son and baby :)

    Answer by YOUNGFUNLOVE at 6:29 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Think you should have figured this one out pre baby. Id leave him. Theres no way he's nice you in front of your son, teaching him to be disrespectful to woman as well.

    Answer by pinkcicle709 at 6:30 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • ... he is always accusing me of cheating I cant take all the stress! he dont want me to use my tricare insurance bc I just lost the medicaid insurance so I cant see a dr right now bc he dont want me using my ex's insurance bc I'm still getting it bc we didnt get a divorce yet. and thats all I have right now so he dont want the baby having my ex's last name but I wouldnt want the baby to anyways but that has nothing to do with the insurance. and if I go to my moms house he thinks im seeing a guy! what guy is gunna want me all big and pregnant?!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:30 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • He is emotionally and psychologically abusing you. I suggest therapy- solo for you, and marital for the both of you.

    Answer by Saya at 6:30 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Call the local churches and women's shelters. He's a jackass. Get out while you can. I put up with someone like him for way too long. It's NOT fun. And, it can turn vicious. You could get hurt.

    Answer by Kimimale at 6:38 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • So sorry you're going through this. Honestly he sounds quite a bit like my ex, I feel for you. It is emotional abuse, I ended up going through therapy for about a year. And I wonder if he's cheating on you. I never imagined it of my ex, but he was big time. Sorry, to throw another worry out there for you. Start getting yourself ready to leave. Look into groups that help pregnant or abused women.

    Answer by camiam81 at 6:41 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • well. tell him good luck bc its HARD to take a kid away from its mother. best advice is apply for public housing, get a waitressing job, find a babysitter and bust your butt. do not let him bully you around.

    Answer by MommaWoods at 6:46 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • what guy is gunna want me all big and pregnant?!
    you are already looking to get into ANOTHER relationship
    you are still not divorced from your husband, preganat by a man who abuses you
    the last thing you need is to be thinking about how to get the next man

    leave this asshole, get yourself together, and spend all this energy that is wasted on these man - spend this energy and time with your child and baby on the way

    if you were married at the time you got pregnant - it is legally your husbands child -until proven otherwise
    throw that shit in the boyfriends face next time he says he will take your baby away

    i say leave him before baby is born (not easy) but better than leaving afterward

    good luck!

    Answer by fiatpax at 7:11 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • the fact that the 2 of you are not married is a win for you hell you don't even need to put his name on the birth certificate and by doing that he has no real rights. he is trying to have his control over a woman's shelter and ask them what they can do for you. you need to just be thankful your not married. He is no good for you or the babies. Get help now and get away from him. he does not have the rights he would if he were your husband. but please do call a shelter and talk to the advocates there they can help you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:37 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Tricare is the BEST baby insurance! I had it, under my dad, and all I had to pay for the entire stay was 32.00. Screw him if you have Tricare, use it!!

    Answer by kgrine at 7:55 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.