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How should i say this?

we live next to neighbors who have a swing set. the kids are always out playing on it and we can hear them. so my daughter always wants to go play with them. at first they were nice about it but more and more they just haven't answered the door. they have even seen us through the window and still don't answer the door. am i imagining things or do you suspect something is up? i can't help but feel something is up. i feel so bad for my daughter who just turned 5 and i'll do anything for her, so i just keep trying. i'm thinking of sending them a note asking whats up but i certainly don't want to offend our neighbors but i certainly don't want to assume anything or let my daughter keep getting hurt. so i need help wording out a note, i would just ask directly but remember they don't answer the door. so i can't very well do that. i rarely see them in fact and they are very closed off people and not to offend anyone but it seems like they are sheidling themselves from the evil world. as they proclaim to be christians and had once tried going about opening up their own church. I can't help but wonder if they are being judemental of us being mormons since some people have some very far out ideas about our church, like we believe in underage marraige or poligamy which just isn't the case. anyway how would you like to read it worded that it wouldn't offend you if you were in their shoes?

p.s. me being pregnant just makes me feel even more sad that she is left to play alone. also other kids in our hood are much further down and older then leia so i can't send her to play with them. we are on the very far end of the seat. our neoghbors being the very last house and in between are empty houses or older folks.

Answer Question
 
melody77

Asked by melody77 at 10:05 PM on Jun. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,435 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I don't think you need to write a note. They're making it clear that they don't want to have a friendship and they don't want to open their home to you and your family. Just think of it as them doing you a favor, they don't seem very nice, and it doesn't seem like they'd be very good friends. You're better off not getting involved with people like that. Next time their kids are out playing on their swing set take your daughter to the park instead and tell her that the neighbor kids can't play right now. Besides you don't want her to think that she has to beg other kids to play with her. There are plenty of kids at the park who will be happy to play with your lovely daughter.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:12 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • It is your hormones.

    They are not required to have your daughter play in their yard or with their kids. Your daughters entertainment is not their issue.

    Maybe you over stepped your welcome and became a pest and they stopped answering because they didnt know how to say it politely.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • I used to be the one on the block with the cool swing set. Sometimes it got real annoying that everyone wanted to come to my house and play. At first it was great, but after awhile I regretted getting the swing set. I had things I needed to do and the kids didn't always want to go out when 'friends' knocked at our door. What was the absolute worst was when a 'friend' showed up that my kids really didn't like. It honestly got to the point that I didn't open the door. I felt like a prisoner in my own home because of that stupid swing set.

    I'm not saying this is that same issue you are having, I'm just sharing my own experience.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Introduce her to some of the older people in the area, if they are nice. Alot of older people love little kids, and maybe she could help you make a cake or some scones or something together to take over and they can have a little tea party? What little girl or Lilly old lady wouldn't like that. Watching older people and children together is magic.
    As for your neighbour, take baking(soften the mood) and just ask outright. At least that way they can tell you straight, and you can correct them if it is religion they are concerned about :)
    06Lilraysmom

    Answer by 06Lilraysmom at 10:16 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Agree totally with second answer. No one is obligated to share their yard and toys, and furthermore you cannot assume anything negative about them by trying to tactfully avoid having to tell you they don't want her to play in their yard.
    fohtrae

    Answer by fohtrae at 10:17 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • i take my daughter to the park every day to play with my friends day care kids for an hr and half but she never seems to get enough or run out of energy she always asks. anonymous, yes they obviously don't know how to be polite and just say so but i have always been cautious of how much i would ask them for her to play with them. maybe 2-3 times a month. sad thing is to, that it seems they are isolating their kids to the world.
    melody77

    Comment by melody77 (original poster) at 10:18 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • When you say you would ask for her to play with them, do you play, too, or send her over?

    Is your DD near ages of other children?

    We are the only house with kids anywhere near us now, but when I was younger we had some kids in our neighborhood that would come down to play. They were younger than us; we had to play their way b/c they needed help on the swings, etc. I couldn't just stop playing and go ride bikes or whatever; the kid was now "company". I felt like I was babysitting and not getting paid all the time.

    When your daughter wants to play over there, tell her no. Let her play in your yard - jump rope, hula hoop, run around, hide and seek, whatever.

    2-3 times a month of "free babysitting" (even if that's not how you are looking at it) is asking a lot, really.
    KateDinVA

    Answer by KateDinVA at 10:48 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • melody... I think you misunderstood me... I did NOT say they were not polite... quite the opposite. They didnt know HOW to tell you that you were becoming bothersome in a polite way... so instead they stopped answering the door. I dont necessarily find it rude. It is a VERY difficult thing to tell someone in a nice way that they are unwelcome.


    "my daughter always wants to go play with them. at first they were nice about it "... doesnt make it sound like 2-3 times a month.


     


    And just because they dont play with your child doesnt mean they are bad parents isolating their child.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • Honestly... it is probably much more a hormonal issue. If you were not hormonal you may not even have felt this way. It happens... gosh I remember some of the silly things that got under my skin. I can lol now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

  • When my first son was little, he had a clubhouse. I didn't mind other kids coming over to play with him--at first. But it got to be a problem because every time he went outside, kids would come running. Not one single parent asked me if it was ok. It wasn't my job to babysit them and there were times when my son wanted to play by himself. They would run in and out of the house and were always wanting snacks and drinks and so forth. I finally had to tell them that if they wanted to come over, then their mommy would have to come too. I think it might be best if you just keep your distance for awhile. Your daughter will be ok.
    popzaroo

    Answer by popzaroo at 11:23 PM on Jun. 8, 2011

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