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How do you keep other kids away with minimal drama?

If you have one family of children who are not bathed, disciplined or have a handle on basic behavior (think it's ok to hit, kick and choke, etc), how do you keep them away? The mother doesn't listen, and the neighborhood has called CPS on them before. If she sees any other kids outside, she sends hers over. The other kids don't want them around, the parents don't want the responsibility of watching them (and we've flat out told them that - they've never even asked, or met half of us). It's at the point now, we start making our kids come back inside when they show up - which is outwardly rather mean to those kids (they don't know any better), and not really fair to the rest of the kids stuck inside.

Tonight I had to negotiate with a 2 year old (running wild, unsupervised) after chasing him half a block to get back one of my son's toys, while trying to keep the 2 year old beating my son with it in the process. This can't keep going on.

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NotPanicking

Asked by NotPanicking at 1:16 AM on Jun. 9, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 51 (421,174 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Call cps again?
    mommytoJames512

    Answer by mommytoJames512 at 1:22 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • OMG, you poor thing! There's nothing worst than half assed parents that don't take responsibility for their children and their actions. Sounds like the neighbors are going to have to raise these kids and show them how to treat others respect and to respect themselves. My heart breaks for these kids, they'll just grow up becoming bullies and thugs.
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 1:26 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • If there is a 2 year old running around outside unsupervised maybe you can call the police and tell them that. They will make the report to cps them selves.
    mommytoJames512

    Answer by mommytoJames512 at 1:31 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • You'll just have to tell the children that unless they can keep their hands/feet, etc. to themselves, they are not welcome over. And stick to it. I would suggest talking to the parents, however it's only reasonable parents you can talk to. Last one I talked to about a situation like this, the husband told his wife to come out and kick my *ss. Then I knew where the children got it from and told them so. For the real little ones, I would speak with the parents, only shortly to say that you are not outside all the time and cannot be responsible for them. If they still send the little ones over, as another mom said, call the police.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 9:07 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • i would just go and watch them - when they broke a rule - hitting - not listening - it would be time for those kids to go home- at least to their own yards... i wouldnt punish my kids by making them come home - i would keep them playing in my yard so when someone was bad - they would have to leave my yard.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 9:25 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I would talk to the other parents on the block and see how they feel about these kids. If they are in agreement with you then maybe all of you should meet with the mom and let her know that her kids are NOT welcome at your houses.... due to their behaviors/attitudes. Maybe if a group of you talk to her she will take it more seriously. I'd let her know that I am NOT a free babysitter, and if her kids show up at my house they will be sent back home asap. I would tell her that until the kids are cleaned up, and can mind, listen, behave they are not welcome at my house. I'd also tell the kids that until they can behave/follow my house rules they are not welcome over to play.
    I am very surprised CPS has not done anything about this family.... especially if they have had reports from different people about her lack of parenting and supervision.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 12:40 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Tough situation. Part of me says let them come over and give them ONE safe place to be. Another part of me says is they show up march them back home and tell the parents that these kids are NOT welcome to show up uninvited. Another part says if you see the kid running wild through the neighborhood just call the cops and report that the kids are unsupervised.

    Good luck.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 4:41 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • That's where I'm torn - just deal with it and take it upon ourselves to constantly supervise them, or involve CPS again. Both of them are bad solutions. It would take a lot of work just to get those kids up to the most basic level of common courtesy (the 2 year old was arguing with me - if it had been on tv and not a kid actually raised to act like that, it would've been funny). On the other hand, CPS has been less than helpful before, I think due in part to how many adults are in the house (the mother lives with her parents, so they can tell CPS the grandparents will watch...but they don't).
    NotPanicking

    Comment by NotPanicking (original poster) at 4:49 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I would keep calling cps, make yourself a pain in their butt till they see what's really going on with this family. I feel bad for the kids and for you too, it's a tough situation.

    We had a boy who had less than desirable behaviour and for the most part the group of kids in our neighbourhood are well behaved. This boy would come and call on various kids and they'd say the didn't want to go out and play with him, sometimes right to his face. He told my 7yr old that he would beat him up if he was friends with one boy. I told him any more talk like that and I would be finding his house (for a while we had no idea where he came from). Saw him infront of my house one morning and told him to leave because of the things he said to my son. He has since appologized and plays much better.
    Good luck to you!
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 11:03 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • wow CPS nazis again, how about talking to the parents...this world has turned into a world of freaks and CPS happy people, you know they didnt even have showers on the range, they bathed like once a week, and an adult would confront the family not run and call CPS like a scary B****
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 8:59 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

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