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Doesn't this just make you want to scream?!?

I received a text/picture of my ss with his mom which is fine but as I tried getting closer on the picture I noticed her kitchen counters were beautiful just like the way I wanted but we can't afford it bc we have to pay her CS I know this is probably no big deal to anyone here unless you are a stepmom with only kids with your dh with whom you are with right now but he has 2 from before I knew what I was getting into but sometimes I feel we are supporting her lifestyle as well while we are here trying to play catch up...just venting :( thanks for listening...sigh!
I know soon it will be our turn :)


Asked by Anonymous at 1:33 AM on Jun. 9, 2011 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • What really made me scream was when my DH's ex was taking vacations and buying her BF motorcycles....yet claimed she could not afford to buy the kids' school pictures, winter coats, new clothes and shoes and fireworks for 4th of July....she expected us to cover those expenses in addition to her cs and alimony.

    Answer by boys2men2soon at 12:09 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • He is providing a living and lifestyle for his child. You want countertops, get a job and buy them.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 2:05 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • so she has new counter tops, she's not entitled to spend her money on anything? Most parents use thier child support to provide for their kids, so i side with the ss's mom. You see what you want to see. I'll give you an example. my ex pays cs. that doesn't even begin to cover saving for college, sports, school functions, etc. we are remodeling our house. We do that AFTER my son is taken care of. Meanwhile, my ex is driving new cars every few months, wearing new glasses and clothes all the time. I'm not trying to be harsh, but i really think you are just seeing what you want to see to justify your own resentment.

    Answer by boobarandbell at 12:50 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • How she spends the money coming into her home is really up to her. Your husband is supporting his children. You admit you want nice counters too. Okay. So...his other children can't live in a nice home but your children can? It is not meant to be mean. She is in charge of her home and decides how to spend the income available. You and your husband determine how to spend the money available to you. If she neglects to pay the power bill, water, gas, or does not feed her children - it would be very different. Your venting is fine. But call it what it is. You are jealous. It isn't a horrible terrible thing. But it is jealousy. If I remarried I simply could not marry a man not willing to give a reasonable portion of his earnings to support his family. A family court judge often calculates using set guidelines what is reasonable. If it is unreasonable currently, go back to court.

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:31 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • My DH has a son from a previous relationship...honestly, she drives a big ol fancy truck and I could care less...I know her interest rate is ridiculous b/c her credit is's just things..."things" don't make a person happy..don't let stuff like that get to got to me for years and now, we have a 2 1/2 year old precious daughter and that is my world..she gets her stupid check and that's the end of it :)

    Answer by calliesmommie at 1:36 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Speaking of needing to get some...maybe you need to and you wouldn't be so worried and jealous over countertops.

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 1:07 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • She gets her stupid check and that's the end of it...I like the way you put it bc it's not forever. Thank you calliesmommy ;)

    Some people are so rude...maybe they haven't gotten any in awhile :/ HMMM? Oh well

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:14 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • unfortunetly you can't control how your ss's mom spends her money.
    HOWEVER.. you don't know that she doesn't spend the money from child support on her son and use her own money to buy the countertops either.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 2:26 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • sometimes things look better looking from the outside in rather than from the inside out. She may have physical things but how is she doing personally. Sometimes people have said I have it good but then they don't know a lot that goes on with me in my life.We all have good things and bad things in our lives. Just because someone has something good that you don't does not mean you may not have something different good in your life that she does not have, You just never know. I would have that thought too though but then wouldn't hold on to it to long.

    Answer by christina259 at 3:55 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • That is so silly to complain about... I am not trying ot be mean but that just sounds very bad...

    I mean do you KNOW for sure your husband is the one who paid for those countertops?

    Also my friend just moved into a trailor park that is on the worst area in town that is payed for by HUD ( and other welfare help) ..but yet she has countertops that you would think are granite .. ( they are some sort of stone but not granite) .. they look as nice and are shiny and hard.. and i wish I could have them too... Do you think I should be mad that my taxes helped her get the trailor with those countertops I love ?

    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 7:25 AM on Jun. 9, 2011