Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Scared For Their Safety, Please HELP!

One of my husband's family members has three small children whom they are abusive to. Right now they are living with family and are kept a close eye on, however, after the Holidays they're getting kicked out, for good reason. My husband and I think CPS should be called before they leave with the children, the children are safe as long as family is around to keep an eye out, but otherwise we fear for the children's safety. We don't want to see these children landing in Foster care and would be more than happy to raise them on our own but don't know what kind of chances we would have at getting custody, especially since one is not really related to us. Continued Below.....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Dec. 10, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • Continued: The entire family can speak for the fact that these children are yelled, and screamed at daily. We suspect their mother has smacked them, although it's alway been out of sight. My nephew has reported that she smacked the 3 yr. old in front of him, he's 8 and a trust worthy child. My Mother-In-Law was able to get to the 3 yr. old immediately after a suspected hitting one day and when she asked the 3 yr. old if her Mommy had hit her she didn't even make eye contact and wouldn't answer. We've also witnessed the children's father drag the 3 yr. old across 2 room by the wrist letting her entire body flail about hitting any object that was in the way! These children act abused, their parents are far from stable. Does anyone know what kind of chances my husband and I might have in getting custody of these children if we should contact CPS???

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • if you have a legitimate fear for their safety, call CPS

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • I'm not sure...but unless you have it documented by doctors or have photos or some kind of proof...then they'll prob just do lots of home visits. Yelling at the kids isn't really considered abuse enough to take them away from them. If you call CPS and are clear with them that if anything happens with the kids that you'll take them in, I'm SURE they'll contact you!

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 8:54 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • Have you considered talking to the parents about you taking them, and giving them a "break"? Maybe if you sweet talk them, and make them believe that they ( the parents) are better off without the kids for a wile, they will let you take them.

    Answer by my4lads at 9:27 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • If you have concerns call. But I can see some flaws I know an intake worker will pick up on and rule out. So... 1) CPS doesn't get involved for yelling and screaming. Rule out. 2) CPS has to have a reason to believe they are in danger beyond "smacking." I would personally rule that out. 3) You coached the child. I'm not saying the situation isn't abusive, but the line of questioning is out of line. You do not ask a child a leading question: Did mom hit you? That is leading. An investigator would have more problems with how you handled the situation more than the actual allegations of abuse. I'm just being truthful. When abuse is suspected it is wiser not to ask the child direct or leading questions. Nothing pisses of law enforcement or CPS more than coaching. What you posted was actually considered coaching.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:23 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • While the children may be in an abusive situation your way of trying to illicit information is not helpful to social services. A better way: stick to the facts. Call and leave out the family drama. All they want to know is time, date, incident, marks, abuser name, name of child, ect... That is all. They will either come out or not based on that phone call. If they suspect at all you have asked leading questions you may find that they are not even going to bother.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:25 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • It would be in the best interest of a child to be with someone they know. I'm not trying to be snarky at you. If you call and say they act abused - honey they aren't going to give you the time of day. Here is how to get them to take you seriously. Reherse before you call. Call and say your name is ____ and you are calling because you have concerns of physical abuse of three children. List names, ages, address of children, and who currently is in the home. Only state what you saw. I factual. They only care about what you saw and what you heard. They don't like what you ASKED. Say you believe (if you believe) that they are not safe. Request them to call you to tell you if they are going to come out to the home or not to talk to the parents. You do have the right to know that. Say you are willing to have the children stay with you if they are removed.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:36 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • it is very hard to prove somethings and others are in your face and CPS dont bother. my step daughter was mentaly abuse by her mother to the point would not go out side because the cows would eat her, the witch was under her bed that would get her if she got out of the bed. tha monster would eat her if she did not do as she was told.they would tell her they put snakes in the pool to keep her away from it, and when i called CPS they did nothing and said that it was the mothers right to tell her child whatever she wanted it is sad but ture im sorry i would have to tey all they can do is say sorry and do nothing but at least you tried if something happenes and you did nothing later in life it will kill you. i always say live with no regerts and better safe than sorry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:55 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • CPS is a good resource for children and family in crisis. but they can only do so much legally. It is not because they are uncaring, not doing their job, or ignorant. They can only begin to investigate a concern based on three things: physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect (neglect of health, safety, or education). There has to be compelling information given in a phone call to suggest a real problem MAY be happening. If enough information has been given then they can legally go out to address an alligation. CPS does not have the right to address every single phone call that comes there way. I had moms call that were upset because their ex husband fed their child ice creme for breakfast. If you knew the volume of calls they get and it is there job to weed them out.

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:15 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Ok so I tried adopting a child from someone who knew someone whose kids were being taken away by CPS. It came down to immediate family has all the first rights to the children.... if no one claims them then they go to foster care.

    Answer by suhey29 at 3:17 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.