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What are the ignorant comments you heard after having a miscarriage?

I know this is a sore subject but not everyone understands what you go through during a time like that. Mine has to be "It's not like you ever felt it kick". That was from my brothers wife. My brother told my husband " Oh well you'll just have to try for another one." I lost our first one. Like I was up and eager for trying it again.

 
BubbysMom208

Asked by BubbysMom208 at 9:00 PM on Dec. 10, 2008 in Trying to Conceive

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Answers (12)
  • A woman that was my best friend at the time called me the day after my first MC to tell me that she thought she was pregnant and that she was so scared and didn't know what to do and how dare I say that Im not the person she needed to be talking to about it at that particular time because that was just me trying to make her feel bad for calling to talk to me about it (all without even acknowledging what she knew had just happened because she was the first person I called). I needed to just put aside what I was going through and help her out because helping her decide what to do and how to handle the situation would make me feel better because talking about her pregnancy would take my mind off the baby that I had just lost.
    BlueCollarMama

    Answer by BlueCollarMama at 9:50 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • my boss said well its better that way
    areneemurph

    Answer by areneemurph at 9:04 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • some one said get over it..yeah
    mama2twins07

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 9:05 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • i hate when you get told
    You can try again
    if happen for a reason
    its for the best
    theres more i just cant think of them right now
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • -Oh well, you're too young to have a baby anyway. (I was 21, married for a year and a half.)
    -It means you and your husband shouldn't be married. If you can't have kids together, you shouldn't be together at all.
    -Just stick with pets. They're easier to replace.

    debra_benge

    Answer by debra_benge at 9:49 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • 1) My mom told me after I had my MC that I didn't need any more kids
    2) This girl called me up couple days after and wanted to know if she have my baby things sence I didn't need them anymore.
    lesliekaym27

    Answer by lesliekaym27 at 12:52 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • One of my co-workers actually said "believe me you are not the first"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • (Cont.)

    Later that same year when I didn't even know I was pregnant and found out that I had MCed for a second time she called me again saying that she thought she was pregnant and that she really didn't want to take a test because she didn't want to acknowledge it if it were positive because it was just such an inconveinent time in her life right now and that it was just the most unwanted thing that could happen to her at this point. This time I didn't even try to convey that she was being heartless I just hung up on her. Because once again if I just focused on her I wouldn't think about my angels that I'd never get to hold.
    BlueCollarMama

    Answer by BlueCollarMama at 9:50 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • (Cont.)

    I was pregnant with my twins when she had her MC... she wrote me a 3 page letter appologizing for the way she had treated me and how 'she never ment to cause me any pain but she could see now why I misunderstood.' And please don't try to talk to her about my pregnancy for awhile because she just didn't think she could bear it.

    The nerve of some people right?
    BlueCollarMama

    Answer by BlueCollarMama at 9:51 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • 1. Something must have been wrong with the baby, and you wouldn't want one with defects
    2. Yeah, I've been through that, but you get over it, then changes subject to her current pregnancy
    3. Well, you can have another one (knowing I had gone through a lot to get pregnant)
    4. Hey, I'll give you one of mine
    5. This way you won't be pregnant during the summer
    6. Oh, then you will be able to come to my bachelorette party and drink with us
    7. Will you be a hostess for my baby shower? One of my other friends who just had a miscarriage is going to be a hostess.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 4:08 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

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