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2 Bumps

So my husband cheated once and we decided to stay together for a number of good reasons, but...

I still don't really know if he is being faithful. His work hours vary. Should I have him folllowed? Ugh I know it's terrible but How else can I get piece of mind? I'm not divorcing him so please don't suggest that.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:08 AM on Jun. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • you can get a tracker on his cell phone that will tell you exactly where he is & who he is texting & talking to without him ever knowing.

    I would do it if it would give you peace of mind.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:09 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • when a spouse cheats, its very hard for them to gain your trust again. is he doing anything that would suspect you, or are you just thinking he could be bc what happened in the past?
    canelamami

    Answer by canelamami at 9:10 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • How? He has an iPhone and doesn't put it down.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:10 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • If u chose to stay together u have to learn to trust again
    rinamomof2

    Answer by rinamomof2 at 9:27 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • It happened to me and I also chose to stay together. We'll be married 32 years this August. I forgave him, but it's very hard trying to forget. I call it like it is. He is very aware of that. I've taken measures to protect myself financially and I see a psychologist for this and a variety of issues. I made it very clear that I don't fully trust him and if he ever does it again, he'll be sorry for the rest of his life. You need to do what you need to do. Protect yourself first so that if he betrays you again you can survive on your own. Make sure communication goes both ways. Question him, have him followed, do whatever it takes to get peace of mind. However, do not let it obsess you or take over your life. Make a life of your own and let him wonder if you really need him or if the shoe is on the other foot.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 9:32 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Obviously he knows that there are going to be trust issues. How willing is he to gain it back? Would he agree to call you from the office landline when he got to and before he left work? You could check his odometer when he got home, too.
    Nicoles2LilRams

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 9:34 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • get you an iPhone too and get this app called heytell. It shows you where the other is when you talk. It's like a walkie talkie. That's if he answers you.
    countrymama87

    Answer by countrymama87 at 9:55 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • What will following him do for you? Are you going to trust him more? I doubt it....if you want to have him followed..you might want to re-think if you've really forgiven him. Its hard..I know. But after someone cheats it takes a long time to get that trust back...having him check in...shooting you a text when hes working late or the hours change might be more sufficient. You should be able to talk to him about this and he should be willing to do that for you...but having him followed without his knowing...not a good idea. Just my opinion though.
    MissyNewMama

    Answer by MissyNewMama at 10:21 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I wouldn't have him followed. He will find out and it will only cause your relationship problems. If you have agreed to stay together you will have to learn how to trust him again. If you two are having a hard time moving past this then I would suggest counceling.
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 10:45 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • How long ago was it that he cheated?
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 12:40 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

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